Right, so I boot this up expecting some slick FPS hentai thing, but nah, it's got this janky PS1-era energy that I'm honestly here for. You're in this abandoned building, and there's this anime girl with knives, just... there. She wants you to clear five floors of monsters. That's it. That's the plot. No long cutscenes, no lore dumps about why the building is full of weird slobbering creatures, just get to the killing.

The shooting feels floaty as hell, like you're aiming a camera on a stick. First room I walk into, some lumpy monster with too many eyes rushes me and I panic, unloading a whole clip into the wall. The sound design is a mess, just these crunchy stock effects that somehow make the headshots feel more satisfying. You get a messy cumshot scene after each floor clear with the knife girl, and the animation is so deliberately unpolished it loops weirdly. Her mouth just sort of hovers over the action, like a broken animatronic. Honestly, that's the charm. It's not trying to be some hyper-realistic 3D thing, it's just raw and horny.

The monster variety is actually a surprise. Floor three had these floating jellyfish things that shoot goo, and I got stuck there for ages because my framerate tanked whenever they exploded. I started calling the knife girl "Stabby-chan" in my head. She just stands there between levels, completely unfazed, which is hilarious. By the time I got to the final blowjob scene, I was more invested in the jank than the actual porn. The game crashed once when I tried to pick up ammo too fast. Still went back and finished it. Don't even know why.