Right. So the rope thing. That's the whole game basically. You got this thin little line and you wrap it around Tifa's chest like you're tying up a Sunday roast, and then you just... squeeze. The whole point is to see the milk squirt out, and it does, with this weirdly satisfying pop animation that's probably the only thing that got any real attention. The rest of it looks like it was rendered on a phone from 2016. The latex outfit they put her in is shiny at least, I'll give them that, but her face is stuck in this one expression like she just saw a ghost in the dairy aisle.

And the sound. Oh man. There's this looping moan that's supposed to be her being all tortured and bdsm'd up but it cuts off at the end every single time so it goes ahhh... ahhh... ahhh... like a broken car alarm. Drove me absolutely mental. I started timing my clicks to cover the gap. That's not gameplay, that's a coping mechanism. The milking mechanic itself is just click and drag, no skill, no build up, nothing like those weird japanese games where you have to manage pressure or whatever. Here you just pull the rope tighter and the milk balloons, as the devs so poetically call them, just spray. The breast expansion tag is there I guess because they swell a bit when you do it wrong or right, who even knows, the feedback is so muddy.

Wish there was more of the plant setting from the title. Milk Plant. Sounds industrial, right? Like some cold sterile room with machines and tubes. Nope. It's just a grey void with Tifa tied up in the middle. Missed opportunity for some real freaky final fantasy themed torture chamber stuff. A mako reactor but for... you know. Instead it's just this one loop of her calling you a bastard while you work her like a cow. Which, fair, that's the plot. She hates being a fat cow. Message received. The game is about 5 minutes long if you're slow. The bdsm tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting for what is essentially a stress ball simulator with a famous character's skin stretched over it. I spent more time trying to figure out why the rope physics jittered on the left side than actually... finishing. There's no finish anyway. It just stops. Like my interest.