Brickhouse Betty’s noir episode hits like a cheap whiskey hangover. Black and white, grainy, like someone smeared vaseline on the lens. Betty gets snatched by Slappy, that rubber-faced bastard, and he’s not subtle about wanting her dead. Tarzan shows up because of course he does, swinging in with his loincloth and zero self awareness. The rescue is basically foreplay with extra steps. Then the reward. Betty’s pussy, described as sweet and juicy, which is about as poetic as a truck stop bathroom wall.

The humor tag is doing heavy lifting. Slappy’s dialogue reads like a villain from a cereal box contest. Tarzan grunts. Betty, for a damsel, has this deadpan expression that says she’s seen some shit. The adventure part is thin, more like a point and click where you click her clothes off. There’s a weird moment where Tarzan just stands there while Slappy monologues. I kept waiting for a QTE to throw a banana. Nothing.

The sex scene is fine. Functional. Betty’s tits bounce with the enthusiasm of a metronome. Tarzan’s dick appears from nowhere, no transition, just there. Like a magic trick nobody asked for. The noir filter makes everything look like a crime scene photo, which is either a turn on or a mood killer depending on your kinks. I couldn’t stop thinking about how Slappy’s name sounds like a failed mascot for discount lube.

One thing that bugged me, the sound. There’s this loop of jungle drums that cuts off mid beat every ten seconds. It’s like someone’s knocking on a door but never coming in. And Betty’s moans are recycled from a 2005 flash game, I swear I’ve heard them before. The whole thing feels like a lost Newgrounds submission someone found in a zip file. Not that I’m complaining. Well, maybe a little.