I keep mixing this up with that other pirate parody game, the one where Elizabeth Swann has those impossible proportions. This one, the trident hunt thing, it's got the same energy but somehow less... committed? The character models look like someone described Johnny Depp to an alien over a bad phone connection. But you don't play for the faces, right.

The sex triggers are weirdly placed. You'll be clicking through some dialogue about cursed treasure, standard stuff, and then suddenly there's a hardcore threesome scene with two women who weren't in the previous frame. No buildup, no logic. One minute you're on a beach, the next you're in a candlelit cabin and clothes have just... evaporated. The animation loops are stiff, like action figures being mashed together, but there's this one specific scene with a tavern wench bent over a barrel that has surprisingly decent physics on the breast movement. I spent way too long on that. The rest is forgettable.

The big boobs tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. They're everywhere, comically large, defying both gravity and the laws of the Caribbean. There's a moment where the hero finds the magic trident and I genuinely thought it would lead to some kind of plot resolution, but no, it immediately cuts to a hard sex scene with a mermaid who has the facial expression of someone reading a tax form. The sound design is just wet slapping noises on a loop. I had a bag of chips next to me and kept getting confused about which was which. The parody elements are thin, just name drops and vaguely familiar costumes before everything devolves into the same three positions recycled across every encounter. The trident itself looks like a cheap plastic prop from a costume shop.