fuck this professor. not the character, the whole game. i'm in the middle of a spreadsheet and alt tabbed to this browser window because the boss is in a meeting and i need something, anything, to keep me awake. this visual novel is supposed to be about some hotshot college professor with daddy issues, right? mystery parents, foster homes, the whole tragic backstory. the cg hentai scenes are what i'm here for, obviously. there's this one with a student, tits out, bent over a desk in a fantasy sequence that has no business being in a university office. the art is... fine. it's fine. the nipples look like someone colored them in with a highlighter. i don't know why i fixated on that.

the plot is a trainwreck. he's trying to find his biological parents but they're "concealed in an enigma" which is just lazy writing for "we didn't think that far ahead." there's a part where he does drugs. i clicked through it. he has a weird monologue about feeling programmed, like a simulation, and i thought, same, buddy, i feel like a spreadsheet macro right now. the dialogue is so stiff. "I yearn for answers," he says, while his character model has the same dead eyed stare in every scene. i wish the sex scenes were triggered by choices that made any sense. you pick a dialogue option about his research and suddenly a student's clothes are off. not complaining about the nudity, but the transition is jarring. like whiplash but for your dick.

speaking of spreadsheets, did you know you can conditionally format cells to change color based on value? i spent an hour on that yesterday. anyway, the game crashed. not really crashed, it's a browser game, but the image for the dean character wouldn't load so it was just a floating pair of glasses talking about college policy while i'm trying to get to the next fantasy scene. there's a threesome tag i saw on the site but i never got there. maybe it's behind a paywall. maybe the floating glasses join in. i wouldn't be surprised. the whole thing feels like a weird dream you have after eating gas station sushi. not good, but you can't look away from the highlighter nipples.