the blue rabbit thing. castlevania parody but you're a bunny and everything wants to fuck you. not kill you. fuck you. that's the whole deal.

first screen loads and there's already a skeleton with a boner walking toward me. not even a skeleton warrior, just a skeleton with one job. the controls feel like they're held together with tape. arrow keys move, S jumps, but sometimes the jump eats your input if you're near a wall. there's this slide move, S plus down arrow, that works maybe 60% of the time and the other 40% you just crouch while a werewolf does unspeakable things to your rabbit ass. the attack button is A. just A. you swing something, a little dagger maybe, and enemies flash white. the hit detection is a mystery. sometimes you clearly connect and nothing happens. other times you're three pixels away and the skeleton grabs you and the animation starts. the animations. they're the whole point obviously. pixel art hentai loops that play when you fail. and you will fail because the special weapon system makes no sense. press space to cycle through weapons, A plus up arrow to use them. but the UI is just a tiny icon in the corner that changes color. good luck remembering what blue means versus slightly different blue while three enemies corner you.

the sound design is one track that loops and it's not even bad castlevania music, it's like someone humming the theme through a kazoo. i respect that. what i don't respect is the bat enemies. they move in sine waves that don't match the background scrolling so your brain can't predict where they'll be. died to bats six times. six times watching the same bat monster do things to a rabbit that i can't unsee. the werewolf scene is worse. or better. depends why you're here. the game knows why you're here and it punishes you for it by making the platforming just functional enough to give you hope before the next enemy with grab range longer than your attack range. there's a medusa head parody that doesn't turn you to stone but does something else entirely and i wish i could tell you i beat that section but i didn't. i closed the tab. i'll open it again probably.