The moment Inoda showed up with that stupid Stealth Veil skill, I knew. You know that feeling when someone’s avatar just stands too close? His character’s stats were garbage because of the skill drawback, so Asuna and I, we’re like, sure, we’ll carry you through some raids. Big mistake. The combat’s that turn based thing, you pick your sword art, watch the animation, hope for a crit. It’s fine, whatever. But Inoda’s always there, watching her character model from behind during fights. I saw it. The way the camera lingers.

Then the groping started. Not in the dungeons, but in the school setting, the real world segments between SAO. He’d “accidentally” brush against Asuna in the hallway, this little pixel art scene with big tits bouncing, and her dialogue is all flustered. I hate that I kept clicking. There’s one scene, a voyeur thing, you’re hiding behind a vending machine and he’s got his hand up her skirt, and she’s just... letting him. Her eyes are these blank, half-lidded circles. The animation isn’t smooth, it’s like a flipbook made by a very horny person, but the sound of the fabric rustling is way too clear. I wish the game let me actually deck him. The protagonist just stands there, a male protagonist with zero spine. Classic netorare setup. I spent twenty minutes grinding slimes later just to feel something.

The cheating escalates into full creampie scenes in a love hotel that looks suspiciously like a dungeon map reskinned. The oral sex animation loops weirdly, her head bobs and then kind of jerks back. I don’t know why they gave her such a big ass in the 3DCG parts but kept the faces so flat. It’s a japanese game, so you get the mosaic, but the teasing dialogue before it is the real killer. Inoda whispers stuff about how her boyfriend’s character build is weak. I yelled at my monitor. A DLC where you can transfer your consciousness into a monster and just eat him would be perfect.