The questionnaire starts with a photo of a beach, a pixelated JPEG that wouldn't pass muster on a GeoCities page. First question is something like "how often do you think about sex on vacation" and the slider doesn't even snap to values properly, you just kind of mash it somewhere between 'sometimes' and 'constantly'. I lost ten minutes trying to perfectly center it on 'frequently' because the fucking thing drifts. This is a "test" allegedly based on British sexual research, which is the funniest lie I've heard since my ex claimed she could parallel park. The whole thing feels like a psychology project coded in someone's basement during a Windows 98 service pack installation.

The art is jank in that specific, endearing geocore way. Big tits anime style with anatomy that suggests the artist has only ever seen breasts described in a badly translated doujinshi. You get a reward animation after each cluster of questions, a looping GIF of some hentai action on that same low-res beach. There's one scene where the girl's bikini top phases through her shoulder for three frames and honestly I stared at it longer than the intended content. The animations are crude, minimal frames, zero voice acting just this chunky silence broken only by my keyboard clicks. I kinda wish the sand was more... grainy? But it won't be updated, the game's title literally has "test" in it and it's from like two decades ago.

What gets me is the questions get weirdly specific during the BDSM section. Something about "do you fantasize about being restrained by luggage straps in an airport" and I had to stop and think about my life. There's no scoring mechanism I could find, you just keep clicking and the same couple of animations repeat with slight palette swaps. Then the file loads another beach scene and you realize the loop is basically infinite. I had it running on my phone browser, Chrome, and the pinch zoom function activated mid-scene which turned the whole thing into a surreal pixelated mess.