I keep coming back to this one when I just want to zone out and watch something simple happen. Okay the poker is barely poker. You get five cards, pick which ones to swap, and if your hand beats the girl's hand she takes something off. That's it. No betting, no bluffing, no stack sizes, nothing. Sometimes I don't even look at the cards properly, just click whatever and wait.

Which sounds like I'm complaining but I'm really not. There's this redhead in tight jeans and a black top who does this little shimmy when she loses a round, like she's annoyed but also kind of into it, and I swear I've replayed her stage four times now just to see that again. The real model thing works here because she's not some impossibly proportioned fantasy, she looks like someone you'd actually stare at across a bar and then look away real quick when she catches you. Her freckles. There are freckles.

The brunette has this lacy white lingerie set under a business casual outfit and her strip sequence is probably the most polished one. The blonde goes last and she's got this cocky smile the whole time, like she knows exactly what you're doing. The difficulty doesn't really ramp up, all three opponents play about the same, so you can clear the whole thing in one sitting without much thought. I wish the card swapping had a bit more friction to it, maybe a risk element or limited exchanges per round. Something to make me sweat a little.

Actually the redhead's shimmy isn't that long. It's like two seconds. I don't know why I fixated on it. The jeans stay on longer than you'd expect and the game sort of lingers on the unbuttoning, which is a nice touch for a browser thing you'd find on some forgotten corner of the internet. Still better than half the polished crap on steam that costs actual money and delivers less heat than a single frame of that brunette in her underwear.