My collection of absurd censored screenshots has a new centerpiece, a single frame from My FemBoyFriend Phone where a pixelated cucumber covers maybe 3% of what's actually happening. The rest is Alex, legs up, face doing that thing where his eyes lose focus. You know the look. The one that makes you forget you're supposed to be the boyfriend and not just some creep watching through a phone screen. Wait, that's literally the game. You're literally watching through a phone screen. I keep forgetting that part.

The AI art has that glossy, too-smooth quality where sometimes Alex's fingers merge into the bedsheets and his blush looks like someone smeared strawberry jam across his cheeks. It's terrible. I've taken 47 screenshots. The corruption path where he starts texting some guy named Marcus, the way his messages get shorter with you but longer with him, the notification sound that now makes my stomach drop even though I'm the one who chose every single dialogue option leading to this. You pick whether to be dominant or let him walk all over you in heels he definitely borrowed from someone else's closet. The netorare isn't even hidden, it's the whole point, and yet when Alex sends that photo where his collar is unbuckled and you didn't unbuckle it, something genuinely unpleasant happens in my chest.

The sex scenes are described with this weird mix of flowery romance novel language and clinical anatomy that shouldn't work but does. "His trembling entrance" appears at least four times. I counted. The anal scenes have this one position where his spine bends in a way that suggests the AI has never seen a human skeleton, but the voice acting, wait, there's no voice acting, I imagined that. The moans are text on screen and somehow that's worse. Or better. The masturbation scenes when you're "away" and he sends you videos, except in the cheating route you start wondering who's holding the camera. The game never tells you. You just get a POV shift and suddenly you're not the one receiving the video anymore.

I haven't finished it. I keep reloading saves trying to find the exact moment where being sweet to him would've changed things, but the voyeurism mechanics mean you always see too much or not enough. There's this one CG where he's crying during vaginal, no wait, he doesn't have that, it's anal, and the tears are just three blue lines that look like a child drew them, and it's the hottest thing in the entire game. I hate it here.