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My bang-out date: Paula
★ 4.2 (20)

⏰ Added: 👁 13.1K
Paula. Blonde. Big tits. The jazz section. That’s the whole setup and honestly it’s more than you usually get from a Lesson of Passion thing. You’re already on the date. No grinding minigames to get her number, no weird sim stuff. Just straight into the restaurant, bam, and she’s sitting there with those... assets. The 3d model is that specific shiny plastic era of the studio, where skin looks like a freshly waxed car hood. I don’t hate it. Nostalgia hits like a truck.

The choice system is pure minimax hell for someone like me. I’m sitting there, sweating, trying to reverse engineer the affection flags behind “ask about her day” versus “compliment her dress” and the game just wants you to be a normal horny dude. My first run I overthought everything, picked what I figured was the “smooth” path, and she basically called me boring and left. No sex. Nothing. Reloaded, picked the dumbest, most direct option about her chest and suddenly the date continues. Makes no sense. Why even have a brain then. The sex scene triggers if you just be a caveman, and it’s exactly one animated loop with camera angles that feel like a security footage from a badly lit room. You get a popup saying you scored. The end. I wish there was a way to fail more spectacularly, like getting a drink thrown in your face, but no. It’s just a binary gate.

Went on a tangent looking up smooth jazz albums after this. Realized I own none. The whole music store meet cute is so specific it loops back to feeling generated, you know? Like someone hit random on a trope generator. But here I am, replaying a date sim from a decade ago to see if picking the salad over the steak changes the ending. It doesn’t. She still just wants to hear you talk about her body. I don’t know what that says about me or the game. At least the assets are consistent if you’ve played their other stuff, the blonde hair texture is the exact same one from that secretary game. Anyway the audio is just a ten second loop so I muted it after thirty seconds.

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