Another day, another parody porn game where you plow a pixel approximation of an anime character. I'm on my work laptop, boss is three cubicles over discussing synergy, and I'm here adjusting Mikasa's fucking hair ribbons. This is my life now. The game loads and there she is, looking all serious like someone just stepped on her scarf. Except you can make her not serious. You can make her look like she's about to sneeze. The customization is honestly where I spent most of my time. Which says something. There's a whole dress up section where you swap out her survey corps jacket for... less practical attire. You can change her accessories, mess with her expression, make her blush, make her cry, make her look confused. I made her look confused a lot. It felt right. Then you get to the actual fucking part and it's fine, I guess. The minigame thing is there, you click or drag or whatever, the animations loop, she moans. It's the standard hentai parody fare where the character is recognizable enough that you know who it's supposed to be but not so accurate that anyone would confuse this for official art. The aot theme is barely hanging on by a thread, just a green cloak and that red scarf. The scarf stays on sometimes. I don't know if that's a bug or a feature but it made me laugh. One thing that bugged me, the hair clips through her shoulder in like three positions and I can't unsee it now. It's like a tiny polygon ghost haunting my masturbation. And the background is just... nothing. A void. Where are we? The paths? A titan's mouth? Who knows. So I'm clicking through expressions, trying to find one that looks even remotely into it, and my coworker Dave walks by and I slam my screen brightness to zero like I'm hiding nuclear codes. Now I'm typing this review with my phone under my desk. The game is free I think. It's a browser thing. You'll play it for ten minutes, customize her into someone who looks vaguely disappointed in your life choices, and then close the tab and question nothing.