Another F-series girl, another pair of tits that look like they'd tip her over if she sneezed. This time it's Cattleya from Queen's Blade, and someone clearly decided the anime proportions weren't ridiculous enough already. She's got those glasses on, the kind that make her look like a librarian who's about to fine you for breathing, but the rest of the outfit is... well, it's barely there. The dress up part is weirdly limited, you can click a few things on and off but mostly you're just deciding how naked she is while she sits there with a dildo that's probably the size of my forearm.

The toy mechanics are where everything falls apart, literally. You drag it around and sometimes it lines up right, sometimes it clips through her thigh like a ghost cock. I spent five minutes trying to get the angle correct and then the animation just looped the same three frames. Not even good frames. Her expression doesn't change, just that same vacant stare through the glasses like she's reading a tax form while getting railed. I don't know what I expected from a browser porn game tagged "xxx game" but maybe some indication that the developer had seen a woman before? The boob physics are somehow both too much and not enough, they jiggle but in that weird water balloon way where you can tell someone just applied a sine wave to a mesh and called it a day.

I keep coming back to these F-series things though, don't I? There's something almost hypnotic about how unpolished they are. Like finding a dirty magazine in the woods, pages stuck together, half the pictures torn out. You know it's garbage but you still look. The Cattleya model has this one pose where she's on her back and the glasses fall off, and for half a second the animation actually works and you think "oh, there it is" and then the dildo teleports to her elbow and the moment's gone. Wish they'd fix the collision detection. They won't. They never do.