My kid left his browser open and now I’m staring at this thing trying to figure out if I should be worried or just confused. The game is called something about a landlady but it’s actually the grandmother’s friend, which already makes no sense. The whole setup is this college boy comes home and immediately starts creeping on an older woman. Shower peeping, the morning wood scene where she “accidentally” walks in, the usual stuff these games always have. But then it gets weird because there’s twins involved and something about religion and a midget character shows up at one point and I just sat there scrolling through the gallery wondering who makes this.

The spanking mechanics are way more detailed than they need to be. You can choose hand position and intensity and the sound effects are so loud I had to mute my phone. My actual phone, not the game. The neighbor probably thinks I’m watching something else entirely. There’s this whole harem thing where you collect women like pokemon except instead of battling they just sort of line up for creampie scenes. The grandmother’s friend character has massive tits obviously and there’s a lactation toggle which I discovered by accident and nearly dropped my tablet. The footsex stuff is in there too, can’t escape it, every corner of this game has someone’s feet in frame.

Wish the virgin character had more dialogue before the deflowering scene. She just kind of shows up and then it’s done. The anal training with the twins was surprisingly wholesome though, lots of cuddling afterwards which felt out of place given the BDSM gear they were wearing five minutes earlier. The penis worship segment goes on forever, like someone on the dev team had a quota to fill. The squirting physics are broken, it just keeps going, a firehose situation. Dare to play it alone, or invite company? Actually don’t invite anyone, that would be a terrible idea.