I clicked on her neck. Just clicked on it. Like she was a fucking cabinet I needed to open. The game didn't even try to make it sexy, just this janky 3D model with tits that defied gravity and a face that looked like it was melting slightly if you stared too long. But that's the charm, right? It's so unpolished it wraps back around to being hilarious. The dialogue choices pop up and one was literally "Suck her blood back?" which makes zero biological sense but I picked it anyway because what else are you gonna do when your new girlfriend reveals she's a vampire with a hunger and, I quote, "big boobs."

The story is whatever. She's a vampire, you find out, now you gotta fuck her. That's the whole plot. No twist, no deep lore about vampire society. But there's this one moment where you're supposed to interact with the environment and I spent like five minutes clicking a candle that did absolutely nothing. It just sat there, unclickable after the first time, mocking me. I think about that candle a lot. The choices feel like they matter until you realize they just loop you back to the same two sex scenes, just with slightly different grunting sounds. The brunette vampire chick has exactly three facial expressions and one of them is just her mouth open in a way that's supposed to be arousal but looks more like she's trying to remember if she left the oven on.

Wish there was more bloodplay. Actual messy, nasty blood stuff beyond just mentioning she's hungry. A DLC where you hunt together or something, get real feral with it. But that won't happen. The game's what it is. A weird little quest where you click on a vampire's boobs and hope the animation doesn't clip through her own ribcage. Sometimes it does. I still played it twice. The big cock tag is generous, by the way. It's just a normal dick. Don't go in expecting monster proportions.