The first thing that hits you is the music. Or maybe it’s the lack of it. There’s this tinny little loop, sounds like a ringtone from a phone that fell in a toilet, and it just burrows into your skull. Not in a sexy way. More like a mosquito. But then you see the ladies, floating across the screen in their bras and panties, and you forget about the mosquito. They have this weird, wobbly animation, like they’re underwater, and their faces are frozen in a permanent state of mild surprise. It’s honestly kind of hypnotic.

The game is simple. You’re a disembodied penis. No, really. It sits at the bottom of the screen and you move it left and right. The goal is to, uh, fire your spunk at these flying women. A direct hit makes their clothes vanish. Poof. Gone. Then you have to catch the falling underwear. A lacy bra, a tiny thong. Why are you collecting underwear from a woman you just stripped naked with your magic jizz? The game’s description asks the same question and then tells you to just do it. So you do. You just do it. The hit detection is a little drunk. Sometimes a shot that looks perfect just sails right through a thigh, and other times a total miss somehow counts. I threw my mouse once. Not my proudest moment.

And the humor. It’s the kind of stupid that wraps back around to being funny. The title screen calls it a “Funny Adult Game by Adult Blowtoons!” and that exclamation mark is doing a lot of heavy lifting. The whole thing feels like a shitpost that someone actually coded. The visuals are deliberately rough, like a Flash game from a forgotten corner of the internet, and that’s the whole charm. It’s not trying to be a polished, immersive experience. It’s a game where you shoot loads at flying ladies to steal their panties. The pace is frantic, the sound is an assault, and the whole concept is so profoundly dumb that I found myself clicking “play again” before I even realized what I was doing. The lingerie designs are actually pretty cute, for what it’s worth. I wish there was a gallery to just look at the underwear you’ve collected. That would be a nice touch. Instead, you just get a score. A number that judges your aim and your questionable life choices.