I keep alt-tabbing between this and the project management spreadsheet. Kobayashi san is droning about Q3 deliverables but honestly the spreader bar gif someone posted in the general channel is more demanding of my attention. Which is how I ended up clicking a link called Kunoichi Clicker or whatever. The thumbnail was Anko Mitarashi with those things absolutely massive, bigger than I remembered from the anime but who's complaining. She looks vaguely cross eyed. A mood.

The whole thing hangs on this one sex scene framework, just Anko and Naruto in what's supposed to be post-war Konoha. You click to fill a bar that says "Excitement" which is exactly as clinical as it sounds. Click click click. The background is maybe a bedroom maybe a storage closet, there's a blurry scroll on the wall that they didn't even bother making look like it belongs in the Naruto universe. I ended up staring at that scroll for like forty seconds wondering why it's so hard to just draw a recognizable seal pattern. My chai latte got cold. The animation loop is her riding him, a basic up and down bounce that stutters if you tab away to check Slack. I don't hate it. The breast physics are turned up to absolute nonsense, the kind where they move a half second after the body does, like a jello mold on a paint shaker. It's silly. It's working.

What's weird is the insistence on the creampie ending being the whole point. There's no alternative, no branching, no mini game beyond making the bar hit max. Once it does, there's a cumshot rendered with this strange, almost aggressive pixelated splash effect, and then she says something that might be dialogue or might be placeholder text, and it just loops. I caught myself wondering how the actual Anko would feel about being reduced to a single repeating animation with boobs that could concuss a man. Then I got a notification for a team standup and forgot about it entirely. The game doesn't care if you forget it. That's almost respectful. The breast expansion tag is technically accurate in that they're already huge before anything even starts, so I guess the expansion happened in someone's head before I clicked play. Wish there was a way to make her shut up about Naruto being a hero now, the audio loop really drills that line into your skull. A mute button. Yeah.