The battle system is turn based but feels like it's happening in molasses. You click, something happens three seconds later, then the enemy's turn takes forever. I found myself just staring at the elf woman's chest during the downtime. Which, okay, that's the point maybe? She's got these massive tits that the 3D model can barely contain, the fabric stretching in a way that defies physics but also defies my ability to look away. The game knows what it's doing with the teasing tag. There's this one point and click segment early on where you're just examining her while she talks about the Northern Kingdom's war crimes, and the camera lingers. Lowers. Stays there.

I got stuck in a dungeon for forty minutes because I missed a tiny interactable spot on a wall. The graphic violence tag isn't joking around either. One minute you're having a stilted conversation with your amnesiac companion, the next some creature's head is coming off in a spray of red that looks like someone threw ketchup at the screen. The tonal whiplash is something else. POV oral scene unlocked after a boss fight and I couldn't stop laughing because the character model's eyes just. Didn't blink. The whole time. Just this dead fish stare while the animation looped. It's unpolished in a way that circles back around to being fascinating. Like watching a car crash where the cars are made of horny fantasy tropes.

The story is this whole thing about United Lands versus Northern Kingdom, and you're supposed to pick sides, but honestly I kept forgetting there was a war. You wake up with no memory, standard stuff, but then you're dungeon crawling and the game throws these adventure game puzzles at you that make no logical sense. Click on the skull. No, not that skull, the other skull. The male protagonist never speaks but somehow has two love interests with these elaborate backstories. The dark fantasy world is dark in the sense that the lighting engine is broken half the time, so you're squinting at shadows while trying to find the next sex scene trigger. I never figured out how the combat actually works. Something about positioning? I just clicked things until the enemies died or I did.