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Right so the dick accessories thing. That's what this update is about, and honestly I was scrolling past thinking it'd be another bug fix patch but no, they actually put in like, piercings and different skin tones for the cock. The animations in this demo are just a loop, you pick a girl and then you're basically watching a hard sex scene play out with some clickable options to change the look of the dude's junk. It's weirdly compelling for five minutes

Found a secret girl by complete accident and it was the best thing in this whole mess. Was just pressing enter on every bookshelf and weird corner like some kind of degenerate detective, and suddenly there's this elf chick with tits bigger than her head asking if I wanted to "rest." The animation that plays after, it's not the smoothest thing ever, the creator even admits it in the notes. Something about looping versus non-looping methods. But honestly? When she's bouncing on top and the whole screen is just flesh and motion, you stop caring about frame rates real quick.

The main quest is whatever, some RPG skeleton about finding girls in a village. But the interactivity is where things get interesting. You can poke at almost anything, and sometimes the game rewards your nosiness with hard sex scenes that aren't on the obvious path. Found a second hidden girl behind a waterfall, which felt like the game was winking at me. The controls are a bit janky, arrow keys and enter, or WASD and clicking, pick your poison. Sometimes the text boxes don't trigger right and you're just humping a wall for a second.

The art is that classic adult flash game look, unpolished but with a certain charm. Boobs are everywhere, physics are a suggestion at best. The whole thing feels like someone threw a bunch of ideas at the wall to see what sticks, which the creator basically says in the description. They want feedback on what to improve, which is refreshing. Like, the sex scenes vary in quality, some are detailed and some are just two sprites rubbing together. The patreon link is right there if you want more, and I'm kinda curious what "even more content" means. Probably more hidden girls in more hidden corners. The game doesn't overstay its welcome, it's a quick fap and done, which is fine. Not everything needs to be a 40-hour epic with crafting systems.

The Mass Game demo opens with your ship docking at Omega and honestly the first thing that hits you is how much the creator loves those old Bioware loading screens. All the spaceship renders are original, and there's this weird ambient hum that made me think of the Citadel elevators, except now you're heading to a nightclub called Afterlife where the asari dancer has her tits out. It's a visual novel, click through dialogue, pick one of three options every few screens, and the whole thing is maybe fifteen minutes if you're not skipping text. But the endings. Five of them. Amanda, Hanna, Liria the asari, a quarian girl whose face you never see because of the helmet, and the lonely hero path which I got first because I kept trying to be respectful during the alien lap dance and she just left.

The porn is competent. Hard sex scenes are static images with text descriptions, no animation, but the writing has this weird earnestness to it. Like when the quarian offers to take off her suit and you have to decide whether to help with the seals or just watch. There's a gear icon in the corner for saves, which you'll need because some choices lock you out of content permanently. The humor is accidental mostly. One dialogue option is literally "I like your tentacles" and the asari responds like you just recited poetry.

What bugs me is the skip button. It skips everything, including choices, so if you're replaying for a different ending you have to be careful. Also the background music loops are too short, that same synth pad over and over while you're trying to decide if the human bartender is flirting or just being polite. The game doesn't tell you which ending you're heading toward until the final screen, so keep a save before entering the club. The quarian scene is worth it if you're into the mystery of the suit, but the Amanda ending is basically just a blowjob in a storage closet. Not complaining. Just saying.

The health regen on Normies difficulty is a lie. Or maybe it's not. I sat there, letting pink bullets graze my ship, watching the bar tick up like a leaky faucet, and thought about the fox girl on the menu screen. Her ears. The way her kimono hangs loose. This is a spin off from some yuri visual novel I never played, and the whole setup is you're shooting through waves of nonsense while anime girls lose their clothes. Classic.

The bullet patterns are actually trying. On Bullet Hell mode, the screen fills with these slow moving purple orbs and fast little homing daggers that curve in ways that feel personal. I died. A lot. The homing bullets the player gets are fat and green and they seek out enemies with a kind of dumb determination, like a dog chasing a car. The enemy death animation is a little puff of smoke that sometimes covers the stripping part, which is the whole point, so I found myself dodging into danger just to see the sprite change. There's a volume slider for music and sound effects. The music is fine. I turned it down.

The juiciest scene, if you can call it that, is when you finally beat a boss and the character art scales up with this weird mipmapping thing they added. The image gets bigger but also a bit blurry, like looking at a polaroid developing in reverse. Her top is gone. One breast is exposed, the nipple a single pixel of color that my brain filled in. I wish the game remembered my difficulty setting between runs. It doesn't. I had to click back to Bullet Hell every single time, and that tiny menu button is the same color as the background. Spent thirty seconds once just hunting for it while the title screen music looped. The UI tutorial they added is just a single screen of text that flashes by if you breathe wrong.

The whole thing is basically a joke that got coded into an RPGMaker MV project, and it lasts maybe as long as a good wank. You're on some kind of starship, the computer tells you to go fuck the hologram of Leah Brahms, and then it disables the anti-bullying protocols. That's it. That's the pitch. No warp drive politics, no Klingon diplomacy, just a direct line to a very specific, very niche fantasy that Trekkies have been whispering about since that episode aired.

The pixel art is rough, like someone's first attempt at sprites, and the map is just a few corridors that lead to a holodeck. You walk up to the glowing blue figure of Leah, all shimmering and slightly off-register, and the dialogue options are... blunt. There's no seduction mini-game or reputation meter. You just pick from a list of increasingly degrading commands and the hologram reacts with this deadpan compliance that's somehow hotter than any moaning audio track. The anti-bullying thing being off means she just takes it, and the text descriptions get filthy. "Computer, make her beg." "Computer, remove her uniform." It's all typed out in that clunky RPGMaker text box, no animations, just your imagination filling in the gaps.

I spent way too long on the second dialogue choice because the phrasing was so unexpectedly crude it made me laugh mid-stroke. The game doesn't even try to be sexy in a polished way. It's more like reading a smutty text file from 1998 that someone accidentally turned into an executable. There's a weird charm in how unapologetic it is, though the lack of any sound or visual payoff might leave you staring at a static sprite thinking about your life choices. The whole experience is over in two minutes, maybe three if you're a slow reader, and then you're just back at the title screen with no fanfare. It's less a game and more a single-serving delivery system for a very particular kind of degradation kink, wrapped in a Star Trek skin that feels almost sacrilegious. Almost.

FMDXD isn't a game. Let's get that out of the way first. It's a gallery, a sketchbook dumped onto Newgrounds, and calling it a "porn game" feels like a lie someone told to get more clicks. You click through static images of anime women, and that's the entire interaction. No choices, no fail states, no hidden scenes unlocked by clicking the left nipple three times. Just a slideshow.

The art itself has this weird, unfinished quality that I can't decide is intentional or just the limit of someone wrestling with Flash CS6. The women all have these massive, balloon-like breasts that defy physics in a way that's almost aggressive. There's one piece where a character is bound, her expression frozen in this blank, doll-like stare while the ropes dig into exaggerated flesh. It's supposed to be torture, I think, but the lack of any real struggle or sound or movement makes it feel more like looking at a mannequin. The pain tag is there, but it's a clean, sterile kind of suffering. No bruises, no tears, just a pose. I kept clicking, waiting for something to feel raw or dangerous, but it's all so... flat.

What's strange is the creator's note about this being a "test of artistic skills" and a "practice of progression." You can see the different techniques they mention, some images have a softer shading, others are harsher linework, but the subject never evolves. It's the same vacant-eyed, huge-breasted woman in different states of undress or distress. I wish there was one image where the model looked genuinely afraid, or even just present. Something to make the *** and torture tags feel less like a checklist and more like a transgression. The whole thing sits in this uncomfortable valley between a technical exercise and actual erotic art, and I kept thinking about how a single, well-written caption could have changed the entire weight of an image. But no. Just the silent, jiggling GIFs of a channel that forgot to include the most important part of a fantasy: a reason to care.

Brozeks is back at it and this time the man finally figured out how to make a game that doesnt feel like youre clicking through a slideshow made in Windows 95. Magus Lab is this weird little management thing where you play a mage running a secret laboratory and honestly the whole setup is so absurd it loops back around to being genius. You get elves in the morning and orcs at night like its some kind of fantasy Uber Eats except instead of food youre delivering... well. You know.

The art is actually good now. Like I remember HypnoSlave and Servants Chamber and those had their moments but you could tell the guy was learning. Here the elf girl has these eyes that follow you around and the orc lady is built like she could crush your skull between her thighs and youd thank her for it. Theres this one scene where youre doing experiments on a customer and shes strapped down to a table and the whole thing has this mad scientist vibe that really works for me. Youre mixing potions and upgrading rooms and suddenly theres a mage customer who wants something specific and you have to figure out if you have the resources or if you need to build another room first. The management part isnt deep but it gives just enough friction that when you finally unlock a new scene it feels earned.

Wish the quest system was less of a checklist though. Its basically "do this thing three times to unlock the next thing" and that gets old fast. Also the night time customers sometimes repeat dialogue and it breaks the immersion when an orc says the exact same line as the elf from three levels ago. But then theres this moment where you discover you can combine spells in ways the tutorial never mentions and suddenly youre creating these chaotic scenarios that feel genuinely surprising. The game doesnt tell you half of what it can do and thats frustrating but also kind of exciting when you stumble onto something new.

The Patreon build has six levels and more characters than the free version and I already know Im going to forget about the mage character entirely because the elf and orc content is just that much better. Typical.

The audio bug is such a specific thing to put in the description, like a little apology note tucked into a lunchbox. And yeah, the music doesn't start unless you go poke the sound menu and flick the track. It's that level of jank, the kind where you can almost see the duct tape on the code.

Occupational Hazards Episode 2 is a space furry fuckfest that feels held together by hope and maybe some of that alien goo from the new planet. The whole thing is bare bones, they tell you that upfront, and they aren't lying. You've got your ship, your inventory that now properly hates right clicks, and a starmap that finally lets you fly to planet 2. The new planet is where most of the meat is. There's a chastity gear factory, which is exactly as clinical and weird as it sounds, letting you lock up your bits with new collars and gear that the game actually tracks. A cartel HQ gives you jobs, five of them, all fully written. A brothel with a handful of scenes. It's a lot of new stuff dropped into a framework that still feels like a prototype.

The dating system is still a cryptic mess. The dev's note about it, that you just gotta keep calling until they ask you out, feels less like a mechanic and more like a prayer circle. I spent way too long clicking through placeholder bar rumors, just two of them lead anywhere, before I stumbled into a hidden machine masturbation scene back on the ship. That was a surprise. The whole game is like that, a pile of half explained systems and then suddenly a fully animated scene with a fox or whatever getting railed by a piece of mining equipment. The military blockade scenes that funnel you to the right planet are a nice touch, a bit of narrative shoving for those of us who just want to find the next pair of tits.

The emergency clothing fabricator is a genius bit of "oh shit I'm naked in space" problem solving. But then the autosave system feels like a bandaid on a save corruption issue that probably happened to someone on Patreon. It's an alpha, aggressively so. The new art assets clash with the old ones. Some dialogue is sharp, some reads like placeholder text they forgot to replace. It's a horny, broken little universe that doesn't quite know what it wants to be yet, and honestly that's almost charming.