That radio contest. I still remember the jingle. I Wanna Sleep With Shaundi. Catchy, stupid, brilliant. And apparently legally binding because here we are in her studio and she's got that look, you know the one, like she just realized the fine print wasn't kidding. The game opens with you waving the contract around like a lottery ticket and Shaundi doing this half annoyed, half intrigued thing with her eyebrow. The writing actually nails that Saints Row vibe, that specific flavor of chaos where everything is a joke until suddenly it's very much not.

The undressing mechanic is where things get properly degenerate. You're peeling off layers while she protests, but the xray mode kicks in and you can see exactly what you're working with underneath. Her body's drawn in that exaggerated hentai style, all curves and impossible proportions, and your character's cock is, well, it's a porn parody so you already know it's ridiculous. Like a third leg situation. The 3 on 1 tag had me confused at first but then the camera angles start doing this thing where it feels like the whole studio is watching, multiple perspectives on the same filthy scene.

The creampie finish is messy in the best way. They didn't skimp on the fluids. Shaundi's expression shifts through about five stages of defeat and reluctant enjoyment, which is honestly more character development than Saints Row 4 gave her. The torture tag is light, more psychological than physical. It's about the contract, the obligation, the slow breakdown of her resistance while the radio equipment hums in the background. Some of the sound effects loop weirdly though. The wet noises cut off mid squelch sometimes and it takes you right out of it. Small thing but once you notice it you can't unnotice it.

For a browser game that's basically a shitpost with nudity, it commits to the bit. The parody elements land because they understand what made the source material fun in the first place. Shaundi's dialogue has that same deadpan delivery, even when she's bent over the mixing board. You're not getting a full game here, obviously. It's a scene, a fantasy, a what if that spirals into exactly what you'd expect from something called Porn Bastards. And somehow that's enough.

Ty Lee on a sunny beach, fake casual, is already enough to sell this thing, but it actually goes a bit further than just “click and watch her bounce.” The setup is simple: one dude, one acrobat girl in a swimsuit, locked in that one position that might be the most fanarted thing on the planet. She’s on all fours in the sand, ass lifted just enough that you know exactly what’s coming, and the camera is glued to her curves like a horny teenager who just discovered incognito mode. You can mess with her outfit a bit, peel off the bikini top, keep the bottom on, or just strip her bare and let those big tits hang and wobble. They’re almost too big if you slide the slider to the max, honestly, like “okay, chill, this is turning into comedy,” but then you zoom in and watch them slap together while he rams her and suddenly it’s not funny anymore, it’s just hot. Or stupid. Depends how many tabs you have open in Chrome.

The fun part for leaderboard freaks like me is how the pace control and the “optimization” of your own distraction works. There’s that satisfying transition from slow teasing thrusts where you see his cock stretching her pussy, to full speed jackhammering where her whole body jolts forward and you can feel the sand would be all up in her knees if this was real. Swap to anal and her ass opens around him, and with the x-ray flipped on it turns into this weird medical porn thing where you can see the shaft sliding in and out inside her, hitting deep. It’s not subtle at all. You get that view where you’re staring at this ghosted outline of her insides, watching him punch right into her guts and her face still has that dumb cute smile like she’s used to it. I kept switching between normal view and x-ray like I was comparing builds in a gacha game, trying to decide which angle is “meta” for maximum nut speed, then realized I had spent more time min-maxing camera distance than actually finishing. At one point I left it on anal with the x-ray, zoomed in too far, and all I saw was this fleshy tunnel with a dick piston and no context. Stayed like that for way too long.

There is this little clothing toggle that lets you leave the top on and pop her tits out, but the straps never dig into the skin or move much which drove me insane. Tiny thing, zero reason to care, but once I noticed it, I kept staring at the edge of the swimsuit instead of her face or the cumshot. Speaking of, the facial at the end lands pretty well, his load splatters on her cheeks and lips, and you get that sticky shine that looks half cartoon, half too real. If you time it right with the thrust speed and swap from pussy to anal then back again like a degenerate rhythm game, it’s weirdly satisfying to “earn” the cumshot like you hit some combo. The cream pie looks good too, thick white stuff leaking out of her hole, but I just left it on her face most of the time because I’m basic. Pornhub playing on the second monitor, Discord pings muted, browser stuttering a bit from all the cached crap, and I’m here tweaking boob sizes by tiny steps like a lunatic, just to see how the jiggle changes when he goes from lazy strokes to full-on pounding her into the sand. There’s only one position and still I kept restarting, trying to find that exact mix of swimsuit halfway off, big but not ridiculous tits, anal with x-ray, then switching to normal view just before he blasts her. It’s stupidly focused and somehow exactly enough.

The x-ray is the whole reason anyone’s here, let’s be real. That cutaway view of Reiko’s insides while you’re rearranging them. First time I saw my

Tailer’s been stuck in some lab for years, right, messing with these glasses that let you see through clothes. Christmas Eve he finally gets a working pair. And that’s it. That’s the whole setup. No saving the world, no evil corporation, just a guy with x-ray specs in a town called Fuck Town. Which, honestly, is refreshing. You click around, talk to the neighbor, the lab assistant, some chick at a party. The writing is what you’d expect from a browser game with tags like “tortue” (yes, that’s how they spell it) and “sexy babe.” It’s clunky, sometimes hilarious without meaning to be, but it knows exactly what you’re here for.

The x-ray mechanic is the whole game. Click the glasses, watch clothes vanish. Underwear first, then nothing. The art is rough, like someone drew it on a tablet during lunch break, but the nudity is there and it’s not shy. There’s a story buried under the horny, something about the glasses having side effects or whatever. I stopped reading after the third dialogue box because the neighbor was already bending over a counter. The torture tag shows up later, but it’s more “tie her up and poke her” than anything actually dark. Which is fine. You’re not here for depth.

What kind of player gets the most out of this? Someone who’s played every “see through clothes” flash game from 2009 and misses that era. It’s janky, the UI fights you sometimes, and the sound effects are stock as hell. But the core loop is solid: find girl, click glasses, jerk off. No grind, no paywall, no “unlock the full version” popup. Just a weird little Christmas miracle where a lab nerd finally gets to see tits. Wish the x-ray had more stages, like muscles or skeletons, but it won’t happen. Whatever. It’s free and it works.