Priscylla Pizzell in Super Cutepetland. Right. The name alone should tell you what you're in for, like a bootleg Wii disc you'd find at a market stall next to 100-in-1 cartridges. It's this interactive console edition thing, which basically means you click around a fake menu screen while an animation plays. The whole setup is pretending to be some old console game, complete with chunky borders and a cursor that moves with all the grace of a drunk Roomba.

The animation itself, I gotta say, is actually pretty smooth. This blonde with absolutely massive tits, very anime proportions, is messing with some kind of... toy. I don't know what the fuck it's supposed to be. A weird alien dildo? A sentient gummy worm? The description calls it a WTF toy and that's the most accurate thing about this whole experience. She's giving it a blowjob, and the way it's looped is weirdly hypnotic. The facial expressions are that specific brand of over the top anime ahegao, tongue out, eyes rolling back. Then the toy, this bizarre thing, it cums. And the cumshot lands on her face, classic facial finish. The physics on that part are janky though, the liquid looks more like glossy paint splatters than anything else. It just sits there on her cheek, not dripping.

You're supposed to make the toy cum by clicking around. Honestly, I just mashed the screen on my phone during a delayed train. The bus replacement service was a nightmare. The whole thing is like five minutes of content, maybe less. The fake console menu is a cute gimmick for about ten seconds, then you realize it's just two buttons that do the same thing. The sound design is ripped straight from some 8-bit nightmare, constant bleeps and bloops that don't match the action at all. It's jarring. But the core loop, if you can call it that, is just watching this loop play out. I found myself just letting it run while I checked my emails. For what it is, a quick dirty animation with a weird gimmick, it delivers exactly that and nothing more. The toy's design still haunts me a little.