Wendy looked... cold. Is that the right word? Standing there in the city, Christmas decorations looking sad and wet on the lamp posts, and there she is, this blonde from way back with a chest that the game's art style can barely contain. You know the type of render where the shirt is working overtime. The whole setup is d9ba4c6a5d5a2d08eb328d37283b189417918101658868402521701095939 levels of jank, honestly. It's a visual novel where the polish was left out in the snow to freeze.

The pickup system is basically a puzzle where you have to be "cleaver" (their typo, not mine, a gift that keeps on giving). I clicked a dialogue option that I thought was smooth and got a game over screen that made me snort coffee. The sexual tension isn't built, it's just sort of dropped on your head from a great height. One minute you're talking about the weather, next minute the prompt is basically "do you want to see tits" and yeah, the big ones are there eventually if you don't fumble the conversation like a complete goober.

And the walking mechanic. There's no reason for it to be as clunky as it is, a simple city map with a tiny sprite shuffling around until you bump into the next flag. Reminds me of trying to navigate IKEA with a broken cart. The nude scenes when you finally Undress her are static but weirdly amusing because the dialogue leading up to it feels like it was translated through three different languages and a microwave. I wish the friends to lovers angle had any real heat but the characters have the chemistry of two mannequins. Top 3 Moments You’ll Want to Screenshot? That one frame where her face clips through her own shoulder, the text box that just says "SEXUALLYCHRISTMAS", and the surprisingly detailed rendering of one specific jiggle when you pick the right pickup line. It's a mess but I didn't close the tab.