Ok so the first thing that hit me was Bellatrix's outfit. Like, who dressed her? The textures are so flat it's like someone ironed her onto the screen, but her corset has this one strap that just... hangs there, defying physics. I stared at it for maybe five minutes. It's not even sexy, it's just confusing. The artist clearly spent all their skill points on Hermione's ass, which, fair. When she leans over a desk in the library, the way the 2D art squashes and stretches is genuinely impressive, like a horny Looney Tunes bit. But then Bellatrix will walk in and her face is just two dots and a line, and I'm yanked right out of the fantasy.

The whole plot is unhinged. You're flipping burgers at McDonald's and suddenly Voldemort yoinks you to be a Hogwarts professor with a kill switch on your neck. Your job is to corrupt Hermione. Bellatrix is your assistant, which is like having a feral cat help you bake a cake. There's this one scene where she's "teaching" you dark magic and she just keeps calling you a stupid mudblood while her tits are basically in your face. The teasing tag is doing some heavy lifting here. The dialogue is so blunt it circles back to being funny. "Make her bad or you die." Okay, cool, no pressure.

The sound design is a crime scene. The "spell casting" noise is the same stock whoosh from every free mobile game ever, and during a supposedly tense moment with Hermione in the restricted section, a completely different royalty-free jazz track started playing. I laughed so hard I missed the dialogue choice. I wish there was an option to just... tell Voldemort his plan is dumb. But no, you're railroaded into being a creep professor. The whole thing feels like a fever dream I had after reading too much fanfiction on my phone, the kind where Arcueid from Tsukihime somehow shows up in a Hogwarts hallway for no reason and you just accept it. The male protagonist has the personality of a wet napkin, but honestly, I was too busy trying to figure out if Bellatrix's weird strap was a rendering error or a deliberate fashion choice to care. I never did figure it out.