A mock award for this one, definitely. The "Geralt's Bad Hair Day Memorial Trophy" for a protagonist who looks like he got lost on the way to a budget cosplay contest. The white hair is there, sure, but the face. Something is wrong with the face. It's like a potato that learned to be sad. You're this guy, and the whole point is to, uh, corrupt the sorceresses. Yennefer, Triss, Ciri. Their minds, specifically. A mindfuck before the actual, you know, fucking. The dialogue is a series of choose your own disaster moments. Pick the wrong line and you lose. Lose what? I don't know, the chance to see a 3DCG redhead get railed? The stakes are incredibly vague.

The corruption mechanic. It's just clicking the obviously horny option. You want to see Triss Merigold's big tits, you click the thing that sounds like a sleazy witcher. It's not rocket science. But then there's this one scene with Yennefer, a bathtub, and a dialogue choice that made me actually snort. Something about a unicorn. I picked it. Her reaction was a still frame of her looking mildly annoyed with text saying I failed. Failed at being a pervert? The game shamed me. I wish the interracial tag was more than just one scene that feels tacked on, like a checkbox someone remembered at the last minute. Won't be changed now.

The creampie ending for Ciri. That's the goal, right? The whole breeding harem thing. The animation for it is a loop so stiff it's hypnotic. Like two mannequins covered in slightly shiny textures. The sound is just a wet slapping on repeat. I stared at it for a solid minute, not aroused, just... studying the lack of physics on her big ass. The brunette one, I mean. Ciri's hair is more of a dirty blonde here. Or maybe my monitor is dying. The whole thing runs in a browser, I had it going while also scrolling through old tweets on my phone. A true multitasking experience. The game's name is a jumble of numbers in the tab. Very discreet. 280b-something. My phone autocorrect tried to make it a calendar event.