The loading screen alone. A crudely drawn starship with what looks like a penis welded to the nacelle. I sat there staring at it for a solid minute before I even clicked start. This whole thing feels like someone found a bootleg Star Trek coloring book from 1997 and just ran with it, and honestly? That’s the energy I needed after a long day. You play as 6 of 9, which is already such a stupidly perfect name, and you’re just clicking through these absolutely unhinged scenarios on the ship. Spook is there, but he’s aggressively gay and keeps trying to drag you to his homo deck. I’m not making that up. There’s a literal button for it.

The scene that got me though, the one I kept going back to like an idiot, was the rear rammer machine. Spook straps into this clunky metal contraption that looks like a torture device from a medieval fair, and the animation is so janky it loops like a broken GIF. But the sound effect. Oh god. It’s this wet, rhythmic squelch that’s way too loud, like someone stirring a pot of thick stew. I laughed so hard I had to put my phone down. Then there’s Whora, a black woman who’s clearly just a palette swap of some other character, and her lesbian scene with 6 of 9 is surprisingly tender? Like, the writing suddenly gets almost poetic for two lines before a Klingon walks in and demands a blowjob. The tonal whiplash is severe.

The captain Kurt enema thing I still don’t understand. You just click a button and he bends over and there’s a hose. No buildup. No explanation. The game doesn’t care if you’re ready. The art is genuinely bad, like MS Paint bad, but the faces during the sex scenes have this dead eyed stare that makes everything ten times funnier. I wish there was more to do with the space pussy box, it’s just a one click gag and then it’s over. The doctor scene is fine, pretty standard hentai stuff, but the Kingon scene has this weird moment where the dialogue loops and you can just keep making 6 of 9 say the same line over and over while the animation plays. I did that for way too long. If you’re homophobic this game will probably give you a stroke, which is a feature not a bug.

The whole thing is basically a joke that got coded into an RPGMaker MV project, and it lasts maybe as long as a good wank. You're on some kind of starship, the computer tells you to go fuck the hologram of Leah Brahms, and then it disables the anti-bullying protocols. That's it. That's the pitch. No warp drive politics, no Klingon diplomacy, just a direct line to a very specific, very niche fantasy that Trekkies have been whispering about since that episode aired.

The pixel art is rough, like someone's first attempt at sprites, and the map is just a few corridors that lead to a holodeck. You walk up to the glowing blue figure of Leah, all shimmering and slightly off-register, and the dialogue options are... blunt. There's no seduction mini-game or reputation meter. You just pick from a list of increasingly degrading commands and the hologram reacts with this deadpan compliance that's somehow hotter than any moaning audio track. The anti-bullying thing being off means she just takes it, and the text descriptions get filthy. "Computer, make her beg." "Computer, remove her uniform." It's all typed out in that clunky RPGMaker text box, no animations, just your imagination filling in the gaps.

I spent way too long on the second dialogue choice because the phrasing was so unexpectedly crude it made me laugh mid-stroke. The game doesn't even try to be sexy in a polished way. It's more like reading a smutty text file from 1998 that someone accidentally turned into an executable. There's a weird charm in how unapologetic it is, though the lack of any sound or visual payoff might leave you staring at a static sprite thinking about your life choices. The whole experience is over in two minutes, maybe three if you're a slow reader, and then you're just back at the title screen with no fanfare. It's less a game and more a single-serving delivery system for a very particular kind of degradation kink, wrapped in a Star Trek skin that feels almost sacrilegious. Almost.

Who is in charge of the Starship Cerritos? You are the new captain, tasked with restoring order and authority. What challenges await you on the ship? The admiral’s rebellious daughter refuses to obey, disrupting the chain of command. How will you handle the crew’s lack of respect? Discipline is low, and junior officers mock their superiors; it's time to assert your dominance. Take command and show the entire ship who truly rules here.