I clicked on Sexovision thinking it'd be a sharp parody of that ridiculous singing contest my aunt won't shut up about every May. The pixel art is rough, deliberately so, like the creator was drawing with their left hand while watching the actual show. The hero looks like he's made of melted crayons but somehow the uniforms are still recognizable. You got your sequined jackets, your wind machine poses, that one guy who always shows up in a cape.

The game is basically a puzzle about finding when and where to perform, which makes zero sense as a premise for a sex game but okay. You wander through badly drawn corridors backstage, talking to NPCs who look vaguely like rejected contestants from the 2007 season. One guy in a viking helmet kept sending me to the wrong dressing room. I got stuck in a loop where I just kept entering the same bathroom three times. That might have been a bug or I might just be stupid. The whole thing has this weird fever dream quality like when they announce the points and you've already had four beers and don't care anymore. Speaking of which, why is the scoring system never explained.

When you finally trigger a scene, it goes from zero to explicit with no buildup. Suddenly there's a woman in what I think is meant to be a host outfit and she's bent over the judging table. The dialogue is something else entirely. I can't tell if the broken English is intentional for the Eurovision theme or if nobody proofread anything. Either way, it adds to the charm or completely ruins the mood depending on your tolerance for sentences like "you make the sex now with victory." I genuinely laughed out loud at one point during what was supposed to be a serious moment. The uniforms stay on, mostly, which I appreciate because there's something funny about getting a blowjob from someone still wearing an earpiece.

Oh right, the humor tag. I forgot about that. Yeah, it's funny, mostly by accident. There's one scene where the hero celebrates winning by doing the exact same animation as his idle stance and I couldn't breathe for a solid minute. This game is a mess but I kept clicking. The community mods, if they exist, probably add the actual songs which would make this either ten times better or completely unbearable. I don't know how to feel. I don't know what I just played.