Charlie’s dick hurts. Not from the motorcycle crash, the road rash on his thigh is whatever, it’s the constant fucking hard on with no release. A month stuck in this bed and the only thing that works perfectly is his cock. Typical.

This game is a movie quiz wrapped in a handjob. You watch these little porn clips, right, almost like someone filmed it on a phone from 2009, that grainy shaky thing where you can’t tell if it’s on purpose or just cheap. And then they pause and ask you something dumb like what color were her panties. Get it right and the sexy nurse Claire, oh Claire with those tits that defy hospital dress code, she gets friendlier. Get it wrong and she just stands there, arms crossed, all professional disappointment. The whole vibe is this weird loop of trying to remember if the actress moaned twice or three times so you can finally see a pixelated nipple. I failed the first three questions because I was staring at her cleavage. The game doesn’t care. It just replays the same clip like a punishment, and honestly, after the fourth time, the cheesy synth music starts sounding like it’s mocking you.

The nurse character is the whole plot really. Big boobs, tight white uniform, the kind of fantasy where medical ethics don’t exist. She’s supposed to be doing sponge baths but ends up grinding on the patient. The sex is hard, sloppy, the kind of fucking where the sound doesn’t sync with the movement. I wish there was more... anything. A second nurse maybe. A different room. The bed squeaks are on a two second loop and by the end you want to oil the frame yourself.

The quiz part, I don’t know. Sometimes I forgot it was a game at all, just clicking through to unlock the next scene like a trained monkey. The therapy angle is thin, just an excuse to show a dick going into a mouth. What movies were those clips from anyway? They all looked like someone’s lost vacation footage that took a hard turn into a brothel. If they made a DLC where the patient gets to quiz her back, turn the tables, now that would be something. Watch her squirm over a wrong answer about your medical chart while you’re already three fingers deep.