my koikatsu install is a mess. custom cards everywhere, some work some don't, and the illusion engine chugs like it's personally offended by my graphics card. this my hero thing is just a card pack basically, a dating sim wrapper around the character models. midnight's card crashed twice before i got her to load properly, and when she did her hair was clipping through the school desk. still.

the mt lady scene. i keep thinking about it. her model is ridiculously proportioned, like the artist just grabbed the sliders and yanked them to maximum, and the reverse cowgirl animation is janky as hell, her spine bends in ways that would put a chiropractor's kids through college. but there's this one frame, right before the loop resets, where her expression flickers into something almost vulnerable. probably a bug. i screenshotted it anyway and now it's in my scrapbook folder between a vaporwave sunset and a picture of my dead cat. don't judge.

spent forty minutes trying to get the cheerleader outfit to load on ochako. it kept defaulting to the school uniform, that boring gray thing, and i almost gave up. then it worked for no reason and the paizuri scene started and honestly the physics were so bad i laughed. boobs moving like water balloons in zero g. but the sound design, or whatever passes for it, that wet rhythmic squelch, it got to me. you know? i forgot about the clipping hair and the broken textures. mirko's footjob scene has a similar thing going on, her toes are just. they're not toes. they're polygons pretending. but the way the camera frames it, looking up at her smug face, i didn't care. i really didn't.

the 69 with toga and camie is bugged, they keep phasing through each other like ghosts, and i still don't know how to unlock lady nagant. the whole thing is held together with tape and prayers. but i keep opening it. midnight's card crashed again yesterday and i just restarted without thinking. that's the review, i guess.

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You find yourself as a regular person leading the usual school life. Following another exhausting day buried in books, you sit alone at the familiar train station, eyes heavy, waiting for your ride home. A single yawn breaks the silence... and suddenly everything twists out of place!

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Dexters mom in a casting couch setup. That sentence alone should tell you if you’re in or out. WaifuHub doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is, a slideshow of recognizable anime tits with dialogue trees so thin you could use them as rolling paper. I clicked through the first interview with Ochako and the whole thing felt like a fever dream where nobody’s gravity works right, least of all the writing.

The art is that specific brand of 2D where everyone’s skin glows like a freshly buttered dinner roll. Meiko from Prison School shows up and her ass has its own postal code, which is accurate to source material I guess. The ahegao faces trigger way too early, like the girls are having a religious experience just from you saying hello. There’s a moment with Raven where her expression cycles through three emotions during one line of dialogue and none of them match what she’s actually saying. I couldn’t stop laughing. The Lucoa scene goes full dragon maid degeneracy and I respect the commitment even though the proportions cross into territory that would make a hentai artist blush. And I’ve seen things.

Gameplay is basically pick a waifu, click through text, watch them strip. Hestia’s string is doing some real structural engineering work. Rem shows up looking sad as always and I just wanted to give her a blanket but instead you’re supposed to, well. The male protagonist has no face and a dick that appears from the void like a glitched Skyrim NPC. Cheelai’s scene made me wonder if the devs have ever actually watched the Broly movie or just grabbed reference images off rule34. Probably both. The whole thing runs in browser so you can alt-tab when your boss walks by, which is the real innovation here. I wish Android 18 had more dialogue but at this point I’m basically asking for character development in a game where Mitsuki Bakugou exists for exactly one reason and it’s not her personality. The Rising of Shield Hero girls are here too, Raphtalia looking confused about why she’s auditioning for a porno. Same, honestly.

I got stuck on the door knock sound. Like, three different variations depending on how hard you click. That's the kind of detail that makes me think someone on this dev team has a philosophy degree they're not using. The whole setup is this raw Freudian revenge fantasy. Katsuki, this explosive little shit who's been making your life hell since forever, you go to his house ready to throw hands, and instead his mom opens the door. Mitsuki. And she's drawn with proportions that would make Eros himself file a noise complaint. The xray toggle is right there from the first scene, and I won't pretend I didn't immediately turn it on. Watching the internal mechanics of a deepthroat from a woman who shares DNA with your tormentor. There's a whole thesis in that about symbolic vengeance and the maternal body as contested territory.

The game doesn't pretend to be anything else. You're not here for dialogue trees. The mom's dialogue is hilariously on the nose, like a porno script written in a single caffeine fueled night. She calls you a good boy while you're rearranging her guts and the whole time I'm thinking about Katsuki's room just down the hall. That's the fantasy, right? The spatial element matters more than the devs probably intended. You're defiling his literal home. The big tits tag is almost underselling it, they have their own gravitational pull, and the physics during the cowgirl scene are absurd in the best way. I do wish there was a moment where the bully almost walks in, just a sound from off screen to spike the anxiety, but that's never happening. This is a pure power trip.

I alt-tabbed to check Discord during one of the looped animations and forgot what I was doing for a solid minute. The sound design is just wet slaps and her VA going increasingly feral. It's not high art but it's honest. The revenge isn't on Katsuki, not really. It's on the entire concept of powerlessness. You're inside his mom's throat and suddenly middle school didn't happen. The xray view shows your cock bulging in her neck and it's the most sincere visual metaphor I've seen in a browser game all month. I just wish the cum animation wasn't so abrupt. It ends and you're just staring at her smiling face and a loading screen. No afterglow. Maybe that's the point. Revenge is fleeting. The MILF stays pixelated.

Ok so WaifuHub. It's like someone took that casting couch idea and just threw every anime girl they could think of into a blender. You're the interviewer, right? But the interview is basically just a quick chat before you're supposed to, you know, test their talents. The whole thing runs in a browser, feels like one of those mobile games you'd play while pretending to check your emails. The art is that flat 2D style, which honestly, sometimes it works and sometimes Meiko's tits look like they're trying to escape the screen in a way that defies physics even for Prison School. The ahegao faces pop up and it's exactly what you expect, no surprises there.

The lineup is wild. You got 2B from Nier looking all serious, then right next to her is Lucoa from Dragon Maid with her whole... everything. And Cheelai? The green girl from the Broly movie? She's there. The dialogue is about as deep as a puddle, but I wasn't exactly here for Shakespeare. I was trying to get Mina Ashido to do something lewd and the game just kinda froze for a second. Classic. The sound effects are... there. A looping beat that drills into your skull after a while, and these wet noises during the oral scenes that are so over the top I had to laugh. It's not exactly a soundtrack you'll be humming later.

The whole thing feels like a fever dream. One minute you're with Raphtalia, who looks weirdly out of place, the next you're with Galko and she's just... aggressively cheerful about the whole thing. It's a weird collection of waifus. No real story, just a series of scenes. The male protagonist has a big penis, obviously, because of course he does. It's the kind of thing where you click through, see the ahegao, and move on. I wish the Mitsuki scene had more to it, but it won't change now. It is what it is. Just a raw, unpolished fuckfest with a bunch of familiar faces. Don't overthink it.

Lazuli is that kind of horny scientist who really shouldn’t be allowed near a lab, but somehow nobody stopped her and now the whole universe of anime girls is in trouble. She cooked up this thing called Cumcoction, like some pervy philosopher stone, and she’s just strolling around different worlds testing it on basically every big tit, big ass heroine you ever jerked to on Pixiv. One moment you’re in a Fairy Tail vibe, poking around the guild hall, next moment you’re eye-level with Erza’s armor and thinking, “yeah that’s not staying on for long.” Lazuli isn’t shy at all, she’s like, “ok, drink this” and suddenly the sweet girl who’d normally blush at handholding is begging for anal and calling you mistress while your futa cock is halfway down her throat. The tone is this weird mix of goofy alchemy nerd talk and straight-up filth. She talks like a researcher, but her “research” is basically: how many ways can I break this poor virgin’s brain until she needs daily creampies just to think straight.

The whole thing plays like a corrupted adventure where you’re always poking at boundaries. You’re talking to Lucy one second all wholesome, and then you notice a new little option pops up in the corner after you slip some Cumcoction in her drink. Hit it, and suddenly chatty Lucy gets glassy eyes and her nipples are hard through her shirt, and you’re like “ok, this escalated fast.” Same with the ninja girls. Hinata starts out looking at you like you’re some weird scientist, then you nudge things with a tiny dose and later you catch her secretly fingering herself behind a door, and the game straight up lets you watch, full-on masturbation voyeur scene, her whispering your name while she rubs her clit. There’s this slow slide from kinda-cute corruption to “yeah ok this is mind control and everyone’s fine with it except their morals.” Sakura, Ino, Tsunade, even Kushina and Sarada, they all have their little route where you test doses, push them past the point where they’d ever say no, and the writing doesn’t pretend it’s all wholesome. It just leans into the blackmail, the groping, the sleep sex thing, the total loss of control. Some scenes are funny by accident too: you’re mid-scene with Android 18, she’s riding you like she’s trying to break your spine, and Lazuli is still muttering science talk about “data points” while there’s literal titfucking happening on screen. It’s messy, horny, and kinda wrong in that way that makes you keep clicking anyway, like “ok, one more creampie, then I’m done” and you never actually are.