Was expecting something, I don't know, spicier? The blonde in the bikini on the thumbnail, huge tits practically falling out, and then you load it up and it's just... chips. Little colored chips on a grid in water. My dick was confused. My brain though, my brain got absolutely wrecked by level 7.

The mechanic is you jump one chip over another to remove it, like that old peg solitaire thing but somehow meaner. There's this one layout with the red chips clustered in a corner. Took me twenty minutes of just staring, moving one, undoing, moving another. The swimsuit girl just stands there on the side. Doesn't even jiggle when you solve a puzzle. You get a slightly different pose, maybe she adjusts her top if you're lucky. That's your reward. For solving genuinely hard logic problems. I felt scammed but I also couldn't stop.

The help screen explains the jumping rules in broken english that somehow makes it more confusing. "Chip can jump over neighbor to empty space." Yeah no shit. But diagonal? Only sometimes? I still don't fully understand the edge case on the border tiles and I've finished half the levels. The game doesn't care if you're stuck. No hints, no mercy. Just that blonde looking vaguely disappointed in you. It's weirdly compelling. Hate that I respect it. Wish there was a gallery mode so I didn't have to keep replaying level 12 just to see if her bikini ever actually comes off. It doesn't. I checked.