Burns Mansion v0.16.0
You know that mod scene where they shove a self-insert into Springfield and suddenly everyone’s DTF? This is like someone took that energy and focused it through a very specific, very cursed lens. You’re some rando relative of Mr. Burns, which is already funny because the guy’s like a hundred and made of spite, and you’re supposed to save his empire by basically being an errand boy. The whole premise is just an excuse to click around a sandbox map of familiar locations, which honestly, the map is janky as hell but I kept poking at it anyway.
The point and click stuff is simple, almost too simple. Find item, give item, trigger scene. But the scenes themselves, man. Marge... I wasn't ready for how weirdly committed the dialogue gets. It’s that specific parody voice where the humor is so deadpan it loops back around to being kinda hot? There’s this whole thing where you’re “helping” her with chores and the innuendo is so thick you could spread it on toast. Speaking of, Lisa is here too, which I know is a tag and a whole debate I’m not touching. The game absolutely does not shy away from it, so if that’s a line for you, the polygon hitboxes won’t be the only uncomfortable thing. The arts really rough, like someone’s first attempt at vector art, but the boobs and ass are drawn with a level of detail that’s almost accusing. It’s like they spent 90% of the budget on the jiggle physics of Marge’s hair and everything else is an afterthought.
I wish the mini games had any actual... game to them. It’s mostly just watching bars fill up. There’s a moment where you’re in Burns’ office and theres a “business deal” that’s literally just a coin flip, and if you lose you have to grind for more rep with the town. Who thought that was fun? But also I kept doing it. The whole thing feels like a fever dream you’d have after falling asleep watching old re runs and then waking up to a pop up ad. Burns himself barely features which is a crime, the old bastard’s voice is the best part of the show and he’s just a quest giver here. Honestly the sandbox part is just a fancy menu to get to the next animated loop, and some of those loops are... yeah, they’re something. The game knows exactly what it is, a grimy little parody that somehow gets under your skin. Not good, but I didn't close the tab. Not sure what that says about me.
The point and click stuff is simple, almost too simple. Find item, give item, trigger scene. But the scenes themselves, man. Marge... I wasn't ready for how weirdly committed the dialogue gets. It’s that specific parody voice where the humor is so deadpan it loops back around to being kinda hot? There’s this whole thing where you’re “helping” her with chores and the innuendo is so thick you could spread it on toast. Speaking of, Lisa is here too, which I know is a tag and a whole debate I’m not touching. The game absolutely does not shy away from it, so if that’s a line for you, the polygon hitboxes won’t be the only uncomfortable thing. The arts really rough, like someone’s first attempt at vector art, but the boobs and ass are drawn with a level of detail that’s almost accusing. It’s like they spent 90% of the budget on the jiggle physics of Marge’s hair and everything else is an afterthought.
I wish the mini games had any actual... game to them. It’s mostly just watching bars fill up. There’s a moment where you’re in Burns’ office and theres a “business deal” that’s literally just a coin flip, and if you lose you have to grind for more rep with the town. Who thought that was fun? But also I kept doing it. The whole thing feels like a fever dream you’d have after falling asleep watching old re runs and then waking up to a pop up ad. Burns himself barely features which is a crime, the old bastard’s voice is the best part of the show and he’s just a quest giver here. Honestly the sandbox part is just a fancy menu to get to the next animated loop, and some of those loops are... yeah, they’re something. The game knows exactly what it is, a grimy little parody that somehow gets under your skin. Not good, but I didn't close the tab. Not sure what that says about me.
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