my koikatsu install is a mess. custom cards everywhere, some work some don't, and the illusion engine chugs like it's personally offended by my graphics card. this my hero thing is just a card pack basically, a dating sim wrapper around the character models. midnight's card crashed twice before i got her to load properly, and when she did her hair was clipping through the school desk. still.

the mt lady scene. i keep thinking about it. her model is ridiculously proportioned, like the artist just grabbed the sliders and yanked them to maximum, and the reverse cowgirl animation is janky as hell, her spine bends in ways that would put a chiropractor's kids through college. but there's this one frame, right before the loop resets, where her expression flickers into something almost vulnerable. probably a bug. i screenshotted it anyway and now it's in my scrapbook folder between a vaporwave sunset and a picture of my dead cat. don't judge.

spent forty minutes trying to get the cheerleader outfit to load on ochako. it kept defaulting to the school uniform, that boring gray thing, and i almost gave up. then it worked for no reason and the paizuri scene started and honestly the physics were so bad i laughed. boobs moving like water balloons in zero g. but the sound design, or whatever passes for it, that wet rhythmic squelch, it got to me. you know? i forgot about the clipping hair and the broken textures. mirko's footjob scene has a similar thing going on, her toes are just. they're not toes. they're polygons pretending. but the way the camera frames it, looking up at her smug face, i didn't care. i really didn't.

the 69 with toga and camie is bugged, they keep phasing through each other like ghosts, and i still don't know how to unlock lady nagant. the whole thing is held together with tape and prayers. but i keep opening it. midnight's card crashed again yesterday and i just restarted without thinking. that's the review, i guess.

I don't know what I expected from a game that throws Judy Hopps into a cafe with pokemon and my little pony characters, but here we are. The whole thing runs on that weird undertale-style dialogue system where you pick responses and watch the little text blips scroll by. First time I walked into the beach area, some futa version of a zootopia side character just straight up propositioned me. No buildup. No getting to know you. Just "hey" and then her cock is out.

The public use stuff caught me off guard. You're literally in a cafe one minute, serving drinks or whatever, and then suddenly you're bent over the counter. The doggystyle scenes have this janky rhythm to them where the animation loops don't quite match the text, but honestly that almost makes it funnier. I spent way too long trying to figure out if the judy hopps model was intentionally off-model or if someone just traced over a screenshot and called it a day. The ears don't sit right. It bugs me. It'll keep bugging me and they'll never fix it.

There's this one blowjob scene with a pony character where the dialogue options are so absurd I had to put my phone down. You can literally derail the whole relationship by picking the wrong stupid joke response. I respect that. Most dating sims pretend your choices matter but here they actually do, sometimes in ways that make no sense. The crossover logic is nonexistent. Why is fluttershy working at a beach cafe with nick wilde's cousin or whatever. Don't think about it. The furry sex scenes commit fully though, no fade to black copouts, and the futa content is everywhere once you unlock certain relationship paths. Not my usual thing but the game's so unpolished about it that it wraps back around to charming.

Ben and Gwen in a small quiet room, that already tells you what kind of trouble is coming. The game doesn’t pretend to be some deep epic, it just shows you that one exact moment where Ben’s brain switches off and his dick takes command. Gwen is lying there, half covered, ass pushed up just enough to make you think the artist did that on purpose to hurt you. Ben stares, hesitates for about half a second, then the whole thing slides from “innocent cousins watching TV” to “ok this is porn now” faster than a broken moral compass. And yeah, this one really leans into the forbidden vibe. The way the animation holds on his hand hovering above her panties before he starts groping, that tiny pause is hotter than half of the explicit shit on Pornhub, just because you feel his shame and still want him to continue.

Once he actually touches her, the tempo shifts. At first it’s slow, like he’s testing what he can get away with, rubbing her thighs, palming her ass, that awkward massage that is obviously not a massage. Then Gwen wakes up, looks at him like “seriously?” and still spreads her legs anyway. This is where the game stops pretending to be shy. She goes from sleepy to needy in one cut, climbing on top of him in this lazy cowgirl that feels more private than flashy. Her tits bounce just enough, not that overdone hentai physics, and the pussy shots are framed aggressively close, like you are right there on the sheets. There’s missionary with her ankles pinned by his hands, proper balls-deep strokes, that wet sound sync that makes you check if your volume is too high. At some point he flips her for doggystyle and you get that nice angle where you see her face pushing into the pillow in rhythm, spit on her lips, hair sticking to her cheek. That detail sold it for me more than the cum later.

The game also goes full service on oral. Gwen dropping to her knees, taking his cock with that smug “I know you’re obsessed with me” expression is peak character corruption. She starts with a kind of teasing handjob, thumb rolling over the tip, then just shoves him deep enough to trigger a real throat fuck. The camera pushes right into it, you see her eyes water a bit, mascara slightly ruined, and Ben holding the back of her head like he finally lost all sense of boundaries. Facial lands messy across her nose and lips, some streaks on the cheek, and instead of wiping it right away she smears a bit with her thumb, like she’s claiming it. There are a few small loops that repeat a bit too long, and one creampie angle that looks almost too clean, like the cum texture is from another project, but somehow that roughness fits the vibe. It feels like a dirty fan fantasy someone actually finished, not a polished studio job, and that makes the blowjob scene hit even harder. The whole thing plays like a quiet, fucked up little secret you click “replay” on way too many times.

Fumbling with the chains first thing, because the physics are jank in that specific way flash games from 2007 always were. You grab her arm and it sort of snaps into position like a broken action figure. Kasumi just hangs there with that blank DOA face, tits already out because why wait. The rebirth part is funny, like she wasn't already resurrected in every doujin since 2003.

The dildo drawer. That's where the soul of this thing lives. Three sizes, all vaguely purple, and you just drag them wherever. Mouth, pussy, ass, doesn't matter. The collision detection gives up sometimes and it clips through her thigh but honestly that adds to the whole degraded flash aesthetic. You can pinch nipples by clicking and dragging, and they stretch. Like, really stretch. Breast expansion tag earning its keep there. The cumshot mechanic is just a button that paints her face with zero buildup, which is either lazy or genius depending on how many edging discourse threads you've read this week.

Wish the torture part had more feedback. She doesn't react much beyond some stock moans that loop weirdly. For a game about gently torturing a chained up ninja, it's surprisingly chill. You're just sort of... arranging her. Doggystyle positioning works if you angle the legs right but good luck, the limb controls fight you constantly. The anal stuff is there, same drag and drop logic, no prep or progression needed because we're operating on pure id logic here. Paizuri requires manual positioning which kills the mood slightly, but when it lines up it's that specific brand of hentai physics where boobs function like sentient water balloons.

The creampie option just appears as a toggle. Click, and suddenly there it is. No ceremony. Respect the efficiency honestly. For a browser game that probably got passed around on forums with names like "kasumi_chain_torture_v3_final_FINAL.swf" it delivers exactly what the tags promise and nothing else. The facial animations are nonexistent but the cum texture is glossy enough that you remember why you bookmarked these sites in the first place.

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The first time I loaded this up I just stared at 2B’s ass for like five minutes, not even doing anything. That white hair and those android curves, the way her outfit hugs her hips. It’s a Nier Automata parody so you know what you’re getting into, but somehow they still managed to make her look a little off. Like her face is almost there but not quite, you know? The customization options let you tweak her expression and position but honestly the default is already doing things to my brain chemistry.

So you’re on this rooftop waiting for targets to show up and the whole premise is that you’ve got time to kill. Literally. You can just start fucking your combat partner while the bad guys take their sweet time approaching. Missionary first, then flip her over for doggystyle, the transitions are janky but in a way that somehow makes it hotter. Like watching a bootleg hentai where the animation budget ran out but the passion didn’t. Wait, did I say didn’t? I meant didn’t. Fuck.

The cum mechanics are where it gets messy, pun intended. You can shoot loads all over her body and it actually pools and drips in real time. Then you’re supposed to also shoot the enemies when they finally arrive but I kept getting distracted by how the fluid physics work on her thighs. It’s a simulator in the loosest sense, more like a very specific fantasy generator for people who spent too many hours in the original game staring at 2B’s climbing animations. You know who you are. The android tag here means she’s got that slightly mechanical stiffness during certain positions which, honestly, adds to the whole vibe. Like she’s a combat unit who happens to be getting railed between missions. The white hair gets in the way during missionary and I wish they’d fixed that clipping issue but whatever, I’m not here for polish. I’m here because somewhere out there someone decided what Nier Automata really needed was a sex break during stakeouts and they were absolutely correct.

The proportions are completely wrong and I can't stop thinking about it. Chun Li's thighs, which should be legendary, are just... there. Normal. Meanwhile her chest is inflated to a size that would make physics professors weep. And Ryu, my boy, what did they do to you? He's this weird little chibi thing, like a Funko Pop that got left in the sun too long. His head is massive. During the doggystyle scene I kept getting distracted by how his tiny body was positioned, it's like watching a bobblehead go to town. The whole thing has this janky, unpolished feel that honestly adds something. Not polish, definitely not that. But something.

The facial scene though. That's where things get interesting. You spend way too long just undressing her, clicking around while she stands there with this blank expression. Then when you finally get to the cumshot, it lands on her face and just... sits there. No drip, no animation, just a static white splatter that looks like someone spilled correction fluid on the screen. I laughed. Not in a mean way, but in that "oh, so that's how we're doing this" way. The game doesn't even try to make it look realistic, and weirdly, that's almost refreshing? Like, we're all here for the same thing, let's not pretend this is high art.

Speaking of Chun Li being called "mommy" throughout, that's a choice. A very specific choice that the game commits to completely. The text is barely there, just enough to remind you that yes, this is happening, yes, he's obsessed, no, there's no plot beyond that. The second doggystyle scene where you finish inside her has this awkward pause before the creampie appears, like the game is buffering. Maybe it was. My browser definitely struggled. If you're going in, just accept the jank. Don't fight it. The whole thing is about 10 minutes of clicking and watching these broken dolls mash together, and honestly, for what it is, the facial expression on chibi Ryu when he finishes is worth the price of admission. Which is free. So there's that.

Right, so the whole thing kicks off with Android 18 basically vibrating out of her circuits. She's got that itch, the kind that makes a super-powered android pace around looking at her own brother like he's the last power cell on Earth. Android 17, that smug bastard with the scarf, he's just standing there. The setup is so blunt, so unapologetically direct, it’s almost refreshing. No filler missions, no grinding for levels. Just pure, raw need.

I got stuck on the way they animated her pussy. It's this hyper detailed, glistening thing that the whole scene orbits around, and for a solid minute I just watched the idle animation of her touching herself. The artist clearly spent a disproportionate amount of time on that one asset. The blonde hair, the iconic big tits, it’s all there but feels slightly off model, like a bootleg figure that’s somehow more interesting than the official one. It's a Dragon Ball Z parody that forgets it's a parody the second the clothes come off. The sound design is... well, there isn't any, which makes the sloppy wet noises my brain automatically filled in feel even louder.

The main event, the doggystyle, is where it gets weirdly mechanical. You just watch. Her brother’s rage, like the description says, you can supposedly feel it when his balls slap against her. It’s a repetitive loop, a piston-like rhythm that’s less about passion and more about an urgent system reset. He’s not just fucking her, he’s debugging her with his big cock. And the creampie finish is exactly what was advertised, a messy, inevitable conclusion that left me staring at the screen, wondering if Android 17’s scarf ever gets in the way. It doesn't. It just hangs there, defying physics. The whole thing feels like a horny fever dream someone coded in a single afternoon after watching the Cell Saga and thinking, "What if, but incest?" Dare to play it alone, or invite company?