The proportions are completely wrong and I can't stop thinking about it. Chun Li's thighs, which should be legendary, are just... there. Normal. Meanwhile her chest is inflated to a size that would make physics professors weep. And Ryu, my boy, what did they do to you? He's this weird little chibi thing, like a Funko Pop that got left in the sun too long. His head is massive. During the doggystyle scene I kept getting distracted by how his tiny body was positioned, it's like watching a bobblehead go to town. The whole thing has this janky, unpolished feel that honestly adds something. Not polish, definitely not that. But something.

The facial scene though. That's where things get interesting. You spend way too long just undressing her, clicking around while she stands there with this blank expression. Then when you finally get to the cumshot, it lands on her face and just... sits there. No drip, no animation, just a static white splatter that looks like someone spilled correction fluid on the screen. I laughed. Not in a mean way, but in that "oh, so that's how we're doing this" way. The game doesn't even try to make it look realistic, and weirdly, that's almost refreshing? Like, we're all here for the same thing, let's not pretend this is high art.

Speaking of Chun Li being called "mommy" throughout, that's a choice. A very specific choice that the game commits to completely. The text is barely there, just enough to remind you that yes, this is happening, yes, he's obsessed, no, there's no plot beyond that. The second doggystyle scene where you finish inside her has this awkward pause before the creampie appears, like the game is buffering. Maybe it was. My browser definitely struggled. If you're going in, just accept the jank. Don't fight it. The whole thing is about 10 minutes of clicking and watching these broken dolls mash together, and honestly, for what it is, the facial expression on chibi Ryu when he finishes is worth the price of admission. Which is free. So there's that.

The laundry buzzer went off right when Erza started unbuttoning her top. Typical. This whole game is basically a summer afternoon fantasy stuffed between real life interruptions. You're on a balcony somewhere, or maybe a rooftop, with this red-haired anime girl who looks exactly like that character from Fairy Tail. Not that my kid watches that. Definitely not.

The sex tape minigame thing is weird because it's not really a tape. More like a series of badly explained tasks where you click around hoping to trigger the next scene. Kiss her neck. Touch her boobs. Try not to accidentally close the browser tab when the baby monitor crackles. The hand icon changes to show what's clickable but half the time I'm just poking her shoulder like some awkward teenager at a school dance. She doesn't seem to mind though. Erza's surprisingly patient for a pixelated hentai girl.

Her blowjob animation loops kind of funny, like she's bobbing to music only she can hear. The sound effects are what you'd expect, wet and enthusiastic, but whoever recorded them was really leaning into it. Almost too much. My phone fell off the armrest during one particularly vigorous segment and I had to scramble to pick it up before the dog started barking. The game does this thing where you can ignore background characters, which is good because there's apparently other people around? Never really noticed them. Too busy trying to figure out why the kissing minigame needs so many precise clicks. Sometimes she attacks your dick with her mouth, as the description says, and honestly that's when things finally get moving. The rest feels like foreplay with a slightly unresponsive interface.

Wish there was a skip button for the early parts.