The timer ticks down and my brain just... stops. Seven plus four. I know this. I have known this since I was six years old. But the girl on screen is slowly pulling her shirt up and suddenly numbers are just abstract concepts, meaningless squiggles. Eleven. Eleven. I type 11 and her tits spring free, huge and bouncy in that exaggerated hentai way where physics went to die and nobody cares because look at them.

This is Bloo, or whatever it's called, a game that asks the eternal question: can you do basic arithmetic while distracted? The answer is apparently no, not reliably. It throws simple problems at you, addition mostly, sometimes subtraction if it's feeling spicy, and you've got seconds to punch in the right number. Get it wrong and the image stays locked, the girl keeps her clothes on, and you feel like a double failure. Bad at math and bad at being a perv. The timer is aggressive too, not unfair exactly but it knows what it's doing. It knows you're looking at the partially revealed image instead of the numbers. Bastard.

The art is that specific kind of unpolished hentai that somehow works better than the slick stuff. Lines are a bit rough, proportions are absurd, but there's an earnestness to it. Like someone really wanted to draw massive anime boobs and also really wanted to quiz you on sums under twenty. The images cycle through as you succeed, each correct answer peeling away more clothing until full nudity. No story, no characters with names or personalities, just a series of increasingly naked drawings gated behind the mathematical abilities of a distracted adult. I failed three times on "eight plus five" and I'm not proud of it. The number keys become your only friends and also your betrayers when your fingers hit the wrong digit because you glanced at the cleavage for half a second too long. Simple loop, dumb premise, absolutely works.

Hi to all the grown-up followers of "Foster's Home for Imaginary Buddies" available! Today we have for you not interactive however computer animated (and articulated) apology in which that weird filthy bastard Bloo draws his biggest technique - the one that lastly enables him to fuck that conceited redhead bitch (also known as 'Frankie ') in doggystyle up until the extremely untidy creampie! Once again: for grown-up target market just!