The whole thing runs on this janky rhythm clicker idea, right? You're supposed to hit the mouse at the exact moment some circle closes or a bar fills up, and that makes the dude keep going. Miss it and the animation stutters, which is honestly more funny than frustrating. I spent like ten minutes just failing on purpose to see Tifa's model glitch out. Her ass is the main event here, absolutely massive, like someone inflated a yoga ball and painted it with her FF7 Remake outfit texture. The parody tag is doing a lot of heavy lifting because the face looks nothing like her, just some generic hentai girl with brown hair slapped on. The anal scenes unlock later and they're... fine? The clicking gets faster and my wrist started to hurt, not in a good way.

There's this one level where the background is supposed to be the Sector 7 slums but it's just a grey smear. I couldn't stop staring at a weird pixel on her glove. The whole thing feels like it was coded in an afternoon by someone who really, really likes Tifa's rear but never actually played the original game. The music is a tinny loop that's almost the battle theme but not quite, like a copyright safe version played on a child's toy. I got a new scene and the camera just zoomed right into her crotch with zero transition, which made me laugh so hard I missed the click. The action game tag is a lie, it's just a slideshow you have to poke to keep moving. My finger cramped up and I thought about those old flash games where you'd button mash to make a stick figure dance. This is that, but with a polygon butt that clips through the floor sometimes. The whole thing is a mess but I kept clicking anyway, not because it was hot but because I wanted to see what would break next.