Galaxia
The whole thing feels like someone took a browser flash game from 2006 and just... left it. Not in a nostalgic way, more like finding a half-eaten sandwich under your desk. You're on a spaceship, supposedly, but it's just a static background that looks like a screensaver from Windows 95 had a baby with a bad sci-fi novel cover. And the babes. The "sexy babes" you're supposed to shoot. They just pop up, these big tits floating in front of you like they're on a conveyer belt, no animation, no nothing. Just... there. And you click. You click on them until they disappear.
I spent way too long trying to figure out if there was a headshot bonus or something. There isn't. It's just click the boob, click the boob, oh look another boob. The FPS tag is a lie, by the way. It's a point and click gallery shooter where your "gun" is just a cursor. I kept waiting for something, anything, to happen. Like maybe one of them would say something? Or move? Nope. Just pop. Click. Pop. Click. My brain started to melt a little. I started naming them. That one's Brenda. She looks like a Brenda. Brenda, why are you just standing there while I click on your left nipple? Say something, Brenda.
Then there's a boss girl. She's bigger. Takes more clicks. That's it. That's the whole game. The reward is a static image that you could probably find on page 47 of a Google image search for "space boobs". I don't know what I expected. Actually, I do. I expected something with the word "shooter" in the tags to have, I don't know, shooting? With a gun? That you can see? The whole thing is so aggressively unpolished it circles back around to being almost hypnotic. Like, I couldn't stop. I had to see if there was a level two. There is no level two. Just Brenda and her friends, forever.
I spent way too long trying to figure out if there was a headshot bonus or something. There isn't. It's just click the boob, click the boob, oh look another boob. The FPS tag is a lie, by the way. It's a point and click gallery shooter where your "gun" is just a cursor. I kept waiting for something, anything, to happen. Like maybe one of them would say something? Or move? Nope. Just pop. Click. Pop. Click. My brain started to melt a little. I started naming them. That one's Brenda. She looks like a Brenda. Brenda, why are you just standing there while I click on your left nipple? Say something, Brenda.
Then there's a boss girl. She's bigger. Takes more clicks. That's it. That's the whole game. The reward is a static image that you could probably find on page 47 of a Google image search for "space boobs". I don't know what I expected. Actually, I do. I expected something with the word "shooter" in the tags to have, I don't know, shooting? With a gun? That you can see? The whole thing is so aggressively unpolished it circles back around to being almost hypnotic. Like, I couldn't stop. I had to see if there was a level two. There is no level two. Just Brenda and her friends, forever.
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