The udders on this cow are ridiculous, like two overfilled water balloons strapped to a cartoon heifer. First thing I did was yank out some weeds, because apparently that's milking now. You clear grass to fill a bucket with white stuff, then spend it on wheat seeds to brew beer. Pour the beer into the cow's trough and she gets all glassy-eyed and happy, producing more milk per weed pull. It's a loop so dumb it circles back to genius.

My partner kept asking why I was laughing at a farming sim with a furry cow. Honestly, the humor is the best part. The cow moans when you milk her, and not in a barnyard way. There's a mating scene now, added in the changelog, which caught me off guard. The bull shows up, things get vigorous, and the whole screen shakes. No warning, no button prompt, just sudden bovine lovemaking. I respect that commitment to the bit.

Gameplay is bare bones. Click weeds, get milk, buy beer, repeat. The font got fixed but still looks like it was typed on a typewriter with a hangover. The layout is easier now, whatever that means, but the buttons still feel like they were placed by a drunk farmer. I kept losing track of how much beer I had because the counter blends into the grass. And why does milking require removing vegetation? That's not how cows work. I know it's a joke, but my brain kept screaming at the logic.

Still, the milking sound effect is weirdly satisfying. A wet squelch that made me want to keep pulling weeds just to hear it again. My partner rolled their eyes and went back to their phone. I kept clicking. The cow's tits bounce with every pull, and the milk bucket fills with a sloshing noise. It's hypnotic in a way I don't want to examine too closely. The mating scene is short but surprisingly explicit for something so goofy. You can't control it, just watch the bull do his thing while the cow moos in a way that's half pleasure, half confusion.

Would I call this a simulator? Barely. It's a joke that got out of hand and someone added jiggle physics to it. The beer mechanic makes no sense, the grass milking is absurd, and the furry cow has bigger tits than any real animal could survive with. But I kept playing for twenty minutes without realizing it. That's either a good sign or a warning.

The changelog said "easier to play," but I still couldn't figure out how to get more than two beers at once. Maybe I'm dumb. Maybe the game is. Probably both.

Abandoned on a drifting fragment of a cold, forgotten planet, Asuka and Shinji have been locked in endless bickering for nine long years. Rei, who has borne their petty fights patiently, finally snaps, fed up with their incessant nonsense. With a sly grin, she challenges both to a game of undress blackjack, a twisted way to settle scores and strip away their defiance.

The rules are deceptively simple. Don’t let your card total exceed twenty-one. Beat your opponent by having a higher total without busting. Hit blackjack with just two cards to instantly win and reclaim one piece of fabric.

Controls keep the pace quick and dirty. Shuffle and Proceed randomizes the deck. Strike draws another card, risking more than you can handle. Stay holds your current hand, but beware: if you strike after hitting 21, you lose instantly.

Big thanks go out to loliparpol for their incredible art that pulled this game from development hell to shining glory. The FH team deserves credit for their hilarious blooper ideas that keep the mood light and fun. Kurosaki and Veechan’s voice acting brings the characters’ personalities to fiery life.

Now, it’s your turn – dive into this heated match and see if you can outplay Asuka and Shinji. Once the game loads, don’t forget to click the eyeball icon for some discreet, naughty surprises.

If you crave more twisted drama and erotic tension, check out Eva episodes 1 through 6.

Eva 1: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/82202

Alison's new look caught me off guard, not gonna lie. That red hair, the way her eyes track you now, something predatory behind the smile. Spent way too long just cycling through the talk/ask/date/give/girlfriend menu like some kind of menu pervert, testing how she reacts when you push too fast. She remembers. That's the thing that got under my skin. The game doesn't tell you but she keeps track of every dumb thing you say and it comes back later when you're trying to get her into the cryo room. The new animation system for the H-scenes is janky in the best way, like someone actually hand-drew the frames instead of letting some tweening algorithm smooth out all the personality. There's this moment with Roselyn where the loop stutters just slightly and it makes the whole thing feel more real, more desperate. I don't know if that's intentional or just the game being unpolished but I don't want them to fix it.

The password minigame is bullshit though. Complete bullshit. Why is there a puzzle in my obsessive romance sim? But then I caught myself reloading saves just to fail it differently, watching Alison's dialogue change when you get it wrong three times in a row. She gets disappointed. Actually disappointed, not game-over-screen disappointed. The kind that makes you feel like you personally let down a collection of pixels and code. The 45 day limit hangs over everything like a threat. You can't waste time grinding affection with the market character, whoever she is, some new face I stumbled into while looking for items. The sprout thing, you can't take them on the ship yet, which means something's planned, something's coming, and the not knowing is worse than any spoiler I could've read in the comments.

Wish the mute button wasn't there. Not because the sounds are bad, the H-sounds are actually improved, wetter, more present. But having the option means someone out there is playing this muted and that feels wrong. Like eating soup with a fork. The save slots are a blessing though, let me branch my obsession properly, one where I'm patient and one where I'm not. Alison's route being longer now means more chances to mess up, more chances to see that disappointed face. The backgrounds in the library got upgraded but I barely noticed because I was too busy trying to figure out if Roselyn's new relationship status changes how she stands near the bookshelves. It does. Small things. The main character's new appearance is whatever, he looks better I guess, but I'm not here for him. The spaceship button is convenient, takes you right back to where the tension lives. Grammar's fixed, typos gone, which is almost sad. Those little errors made the earlier versions feel like finding someone's actual diary. Now it's polished enough to be dangerous, polished enough to make you forget you're playing a game and not actually ruining something fragile.

Bus was shaking like a washing machine with a brick in it and I'm trying to get this succubus to not dump me. That's the game. Two little cupid things pop up, one on each shoulder, singing at me. Actual singing. Not like, good singing, but it's there, a whole song about how you don't always have to fuck her hard. Sometimes she needs more than just a rude, hot fuck. The lyrics are stupid but they stick in your head, you know? I was humming it at the ticket machine.

The animation is janky as hell, like someone learned Flash last week and said fuck it, let's make a porn lesson. The succubus chick looks perpetually annoyed, which, fair. The cupids are these tiny demon cherubs with voices that crack. It's supposed to be funny and it is, but in that way where you're not sure if they meant it to be this awkward. The whole thing is a music video basically, a really horny, unpolished one. You just watch and listen to this instructional song about not being a selfish prick in bed. Foreplay tips from hellspawn.

Soundtrack is the whole point, right? The song is catchy in a brain-rot way. Voice acting is... enthusiastic. One cupid sounds like he's been smoking since birth. The other is trying to be sweet but keeps giggling. It's a mess. A charming mess? I dunno. I wanted a quick wank on the commute and got a sex ed musical from the underworld. Didn't even get to the good stuff, just a song about touching her hair first or some shit. The game forgets it's a game halfway through and just becomes a weird AMV. My stop came too fast. I was left with blue balls and a tune about emotional intimacy. What the fuck.

See Lexi, the innocent blonde flaunting her huge, round breasts as she grows tired of the constant stares and crude expectations. Everywhere she turns, men only want one thing because of her ample chest - that she’s easy. But Lexi refuses to be just another plaything - a movement for respect and power.

The more Lexi’s movement spreads, the fiercer the battle gets, and the men retaliate with dirtier, nastier tactics. This constant clash isn’t just about power - it’s raw, erotic, and charged with dirty games that will have you hooked.

Blending arcade action with strategic moves, the game challenges you to outsmart your opponents, all while enjoying Lexi’s story unfold in the most provocative ways. A sharp, cheeky humor keeps things light even when the scenes get steamy, making the ride as fun as it is filthy.

Keep in mind there might be some glitches, but it doesn’t take away from the excitement. If you’re craving a game where a busty blonde fights back with brains and balls, take control and start the revolution. The battle between lust and power has never been this intense or this dirty.

I'm giving this thing the "Most Honest Title Screen" award. You see "Nudist Beach Volleyball" and you think, okay, here we go, some jiggly physics and maybe a terrible AI opponent. Then the game loads and it's just... two dudes. Standing there. Full frontal, soft cocks just hanging out, zero volleyballs in sight. The actual game is a weird slideshow where you click to see what "guys would like to see" and the punchline is basically nothing, or maybe it's the guys themselves. The description asks if you want to see two girls playing or two naked guys, and the game answers that question by giving you the guys first, no hesitation. Respect the commitment to the bit, honestly.

The art is deliberately shit. Like someone discovered MS Paint's circle tool and decided that was enough for the boobs on the one BBW character who eventually shows up. She's topless, massive tits just sort of pasted on, and the whole thing has this energy of a Newgrounds parody from 2004 that got rejected for being too low effort. But here's the thing, I kept clicking. Not because I was horny, god no, but because the humor is so fucking dry. You get a beach background that looks like a default Windows XP wallpaper, then these crudely drawn nudists just appear. No animation, no volleyball mechanics, nothing. The tag says volleyball but that's a lie. A complete fabrication. There is no ball.

The BBW character's proportions are insane in a way that circles back to being almost artistic. Her hard cock tag is misleading though, it's the dudes who have that going on, just these rigid little lines drawn at attention. The whole experience feels like a shitpost you'd find on a forum at 4 AM, the kind where you're not sure if the creator was jerking off or trying to make you uncomfortable. Maybe both. The nudist camp vibe is less "sexy freedom" and more "someone's uncle learned HTML." I spent way too long trying to figure out if there was a hidden volleyball mini-game. There isn't. Don't be like me.

The whole thing looks like it was drawn on a napkin during a fever dream, and I mean that as the highest possible compliment. Buck, that smug bastard, is trying to impress the new nurse, who has these dead, doll-like eyes that stare right through the screen. You know the type. The jealousy from Heavy Flo and Sexy Nursie isn't just a plot point, it's a palpable, sticky miasma. The agreement between Ernie and Sexy Nursie, a blowjob in exchange for ruining Buck's moment, feels less like a transaction and more like a pact whispered in the crawlspace beneath reality.

The scatological ambush, orchestrated with Cecil's help, is where the game's true, unpolished soul bursts forth. It's not just crude. It's a deliberate, almost ritualistic defilement of the clinical setting. The hospital isn't a place of healing. It's a sterile stage for a grotesque comedy of errors, and the "uniform" tag is just the wrapping on a gift of pure chaos. The animation is janky, the sound design is probably just someone coughing into a mic, and the whole thing has the energy of a cursed Flash animation you'd find on a forgotten corner of Newgrounds.

And then the payoff. The blowjob. It happens, but not the way Ernie was waiting for. This is the moment the game's title, "Dirty Ernie Show," truly clicks. It's a punchline that lands with a wet, uncomfortable splat. I spent an unreasonable amount of time staring at the pixelated expression on Ernie's face during that scene. Is it betrayal? Cosmic horror? A sudden, profound understanding of his place in an uncaring universe? The game doesn't care to answer. It just leaves you there, in the aftermath, with the faint, imagined smell of bleach and regret. The humor isn't balanced with the eroticism. The eroticism is the joke, and the joke is on you for expecting anything else. I wish the nurse's uniform had more... something. A wrinkle. A shadow. A hint of the unspeakable geometry beneath the fabric. But it won't. It's perfect in its deliberate, unpolished horror.

It was the pigtails that got me. That bright red hair twisted up in those dumb, chunky pigtails, but bent over a desk in some dirty New York apartment, not a villa. The whole premise is so fucking stupid it circles back around to genius. Pippi Longstocking, all grown up with tits that could knock over her childhood bookshelf, coming back to the neighborhood to fuck every nerd she left behind. I dont even remember the source material correctly, was her dad a pirate or a cannibal? Doesn't matter now because she's swallowing loads like she's proving her strength, lifting the whole room's morale with her tonsils.

There's this one moment in the alleyway scene where she's doing that thing with her mouth, the corners of her lips stretched around some skinny guy, and her eyes cross a little. Not in a high quality game sort of way. The thing looks like it was coded in a basement during a power outage, zero polish, animations that jerk like she's repenting. And that’s perfect. Any cleaner and it would feel like a crime scene recreation. Seeing this childhood icon with freckles dusted across these massive, physics defying tits feels exactly how it should: like finding a sticky magazine in the woods. Wish there was a mod to make her even stronger though. There’s no mods, or community, just this weird little perverted file you open in your browser and then have to delete your history for. Real talk, tried on my phone during a smoke break and Safari straight up felt complicit.

The dialogue is a disaster. It’s the kind of English where you can smell the translator’s sweat. She says something about "wanting a thickshake" and I nearly closed the tab until I realized she meant the jizz cooling on her chin. Top moment to screenshot? Definitely when she bends a guy over her knee and the positioning is so broke his face clips right through her thigh during the cumshot. Another is any close up of her face when she’s laughing. Horrifying. Unsettling. I saved that one for a group chat. The long gap where nothing happens then suddenly her pigtail clips through her own shoulder. That’s the real content.

There's a moment in this thing where Charlie just goes absolutely feral on the guy's lap and the animation loops like a broken GIF but somehow that makes it hotter. Like you're watching the same three seconds of hip thrusts and back arch over and over until your brain stops registering it as repetition and starts reading it as rhythm. Her blonde hair is glued to her shoulders with sweat. The fat guy barely moves, which is probably the point, she's doing all the work.

The blowjob scene at the start is fine. Nothing groundbreaking. But then the actual riding section kicks in and the cumshot lands on her lower back and she doesn't even flinch. Just keeps grinding. That dead eyed pornstar expression is either bad character design or the most honest thing in the whole game. I can't decide which. The humor tag is doing some heavy lifting because honestly the dialogue reads like something written by a guy who watched one porn parody and thought "I can do that."

Controls are simple. Click, hold, release. You're basically just triggering the same two animations over and over. The whole thing runs in a browser tab and it knows it. No save system, no branching choices, no reason to come back after you've seen both endings. But I did come back. Twice. Something about Charlie's face when the big cock slides in, that weird mix of bored and overwhelmed, it sticks with you.

The sound design is a crime against nature. Wet slapping noises that sound like someone dropping a raw chicken breast on a tile floor. I wish they'd fixed that. They won't. It's a flash game from a bygone era and it plays like one. The cumshot animation is honestly the most detailed part, which tells you exactly where the artist's priorities were. And mine too, apparently.